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    dots Submission Name: Loss of Innocencedots

    Author: Soulraven
    ASL Info:    31/Male/Illinois
    Elite Ratio:    4.05 - 510/481/142
    Words: 81
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 911
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 545


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    dotsLoss of Innocencedots

    Perennial rose petal,
    Hidden feelings unsettle.
    Secret venoms you keep,
    Your obsessions I seek.
    Share with me the pains of your past,
    and the abhor that lasts.
    My angerís violent,
    But still Iím silent.
    The heinous things you have withstood,
    I would take away your grief if I could.
    I would mislead your callous clouds,
    If only I know how.
    I would salvage your womanhood,
    Take from the wrong and give to the good,
    I will be your Robin Hood.

    Submitted on 2004-02-03 22:44:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I liked it. I think it is a little lighter than your other stuff. As for the last couple lines, I loved them, but I'm a sucker for Robin, Arthur, Ivanhoe, and the whole lot. Good job.
    | Posted on 2004-02-07 00:00:00 | by Scribner | [ Reply to This ]
      Shouldn't it be "petals" instead of "pedals"? I also don't like the Robin Hood thing.
    | Posted on 2004-02-04 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      a little cheesy at the end (rh) but otherwise i thought it a great poem
    | Posted on 2004-02-03 00:00:00 | by love gone wrong | [ Reply to This ]

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