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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Last Night On Earthdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Erchomenos
    ASL Info:    19/F/Montreal
    Elite Ratio:    5.19 - 260/85/19
    Words: 175
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 943
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1192



    Description:
       I'm home for the holidays, and my mom is digging up a bunch of my old stuff... a lot of it is my writing. I thought I'd put some of it up here. This is a poem I wrote for English class in high school.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLast Night On Earthdots
    -------------------------------------------


    In the quiet of the last night on Earth,
    I, unsure of what lay beyond,
    Crept free of my concrete tomb
    To taste the clay one last time
    And dream in the open air.

    I left the city gates,
    Unsure in my ignorance—
    We were all so young.

    Creeping through the gardens in the East,
    The dew bit my naked feet
    And the tree-fingers latched
    Onto my hair.

    Ever-mindful of the dark things,
    Inexperience made me cautious,
    And so when I saw her
    (Beautiful anomaly)
    I could only sink low
    Against the Earth's pregnant belly,
    Silent in my wonderment.

    Around and around she spun,
    Dancing to the music in her head,
    Unmindful of our kind's impending demise.
    The wheat and the tares alike bowed
    Gracefully around her;
    Wrapped about me in my spellbound state.
    I watched her dance all night,
    Long hair whipping in the wind,
    Hands and feet both fleeting;

    And right before the crashing end at dawn,
    She saw me.
    Our eyes connected,
    And we smiled.




    Submitted on 2004-06-19 15:26:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      that was beautiful! I had such a lovely movie going in my mind, and your ending made it calmly shimmer away into nothingness. I hate to confess, but I didn't find a deeper meaning and I don't really know what you mean. but that's alright- twas gorgeous just the same.
    | Posted on 2004-06-24 00:00:00 | by mixedemotions00 | [ Reply to This ]
      i liked this, 'cept for the creeping out of the tomb... i like to think that when i die, i won't be hanging around in the graveyard! lol! anyway, i love the description of the woman and then the last verse

    And right before the crashing end at dawn,
    She saw me.
    Our eyes connected,
    And we smiled.

    beautiful!
    | Posted on 2004-06-19 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      Absolutely astonishing. The first line captivated me, and pulled me int oit. I could see this magivcally mystical image in my mind. The whole 'crept out of the tomb' was so enchanting.
    | Posted on 2004-06-19 00:00:00 | by Elegy | [ Reply to This ]
      First off.. I love faramir as well... :) Anyways I loved this poem.. It was really original and had some great wording. Awesome job
    | Posted on 2004-06-19 00:00:00 | by melancholystar | [ Reply to This ]


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