Mamaís in the lionís cage
Fighting for a bone
The children smile with painted faces
But they eat alone.
This life is a carnival
Smells of cheap beer and hazy fun.
Where people chew tobacco
And donít waste time with gum.
Eating out of a garbage can
Can be like picking someone to love.
We know itís used
Abused, like ripped up scabs
But itís better than being alone.
Popcorn and liquor is overflowing
But itís hard to find what you really need.
Drunken and beaten,
It can be better than knowing
But the crackling never is ceased.
Profanities spilling from my mouth
Excitement floods my bones.
But the eyes staring
Feels like sand paper and stones.
My skin is dirty.
My eyes are red.
I am the poster child for cynical fads.
Iím tipping over, blacking out
But before I fall
The carnival dies out.
I love the chaos here- it reminds me of a carnival, and I love a piece that pictures in form what it states in words- I think that's what you were going for, and it came through. I'm particularly fond of the mixed personification and metaphor- I suppose again, it reminds me of what I see at a carnival. I'm curious to know though, what's the real scene here? Is it really a person at a carnival
(I suspect no)? Interested to hear the answer to that.
ok what distracted me was how certian stanzas rhymed but others didn't. Other than that I thought it was really good. I loved how the carnival was a metaphor for a family with abuse. It had a lot of imagery and I thought it was carroes out really well. I also loved the ending it had so much emotion and a great picture.