Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Black & White with Shades of Graydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: gothicgirl
    ASL Info:    23/f/recreant world
    Elite Ratio:    3.49 - 127/111/48
    Words: 164
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 805
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1143



    Description:
       it speek for itself!!!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBlack & White with Shades of Graydots
    -------------------------------------------


    People say theres life inside of me

    but i have to say i disergree

    black and white with shades of gray

    all i can do is wait and decay



    Turning, lost inside my head

    reluctint to stayon the path straight ahead

    forced obligation to feed power unable to be fead

    as a new person emurges with every tear shed.



    Darkness and depression provides a place to hide

    while everyemotion is modified & multiplied

    and every mistake is identified

    by each disire that is unsatisfied.



    People say they can tell i'am strong willed

    that's why my happiness is unfulfilled?

    tossing, turning, mounting regreat

    i've turned my life into russian roulette.



    A disconnected rendezvous

    with a misconstrued point of view

    Lifes to insufficient and complex

    how can one live when their this perplexed?




    Submitted on 2007-08-04 05:35:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      um...i have no big words to compliment you being as i could barely understand yours...it's a good thing i can put two and two together other i would have NO idea. haha damn my shrunken vocabulary! well anways, i liked it!
    | Posted on 2007-08-13 00:00:00 | by Frivilous _ | [ Reply to This ]
      I have to say I'm impressed with this piece. For having the appearance of being flippant and frenetic the structure and form is dead right, and the context is well articulated. Personally I have no problem with the spelling and grammar- as long as it's close enough that I can hear it right in my head, that's what counts. I never use spell check- kind of feels like I'd be cheapening the art of it. As for the contents of the write- I find it relatable. Sometimes I feel like my soul is dead and my body and brain are just keeping up appearences. If thats what you were trying to convey (I hate to ever assume I interpreted correctly) I felt it through the piece extensively.
    -Q
    | Posted on 2007-08-04 00:00:00 | by TechnoticQ | [ Reply to This ]
      i have started to like your style..it's real, and quite identifiable.

    "A disconnected rendezvous

    with a misconstrued point of view

    Lifes to insufficient and complex

    how can one live when their this perplexed?"..well said.

    ..and chin up!..have faith in yourself. it's that age, when you are finding yourself..it's natural and productive..considering such wonderful verses you are penning down.

    wish you better days ahead ~hugs~

    | Posted on 2007-08-04 00:00:00 | by vedanta19 | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm old and will say that no matter how old you become those shades of gray are always there. Appreciate the ability to see them---some people only recognize black and white! I like rhyme and appreciated yours. Your message came through clearly. There are some typos and/or misspellings that spell check would catch if you care to give that a try. Do pen on! Better days are ahead. Sharon
    | Posted on 2007-08-04 00:00:00 | by Peggy Paris | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    147637

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry