Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: If Iím With Youdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: b_v_grant
    ASL Info:    23/M/Jamaica
    Elite Ratio:    3.27 - 125/118/69
    Words: 157
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Misc
    Total Views: 732
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1050



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIf Iím With Youdots
    -------------------------------------------



    Verse 1

    I see you
    It turns me inside out
    Everything stops
    Its only you I see
    Cuz I
    Going to break these walls down
    If youíre not with me
    If youíre not with meÖ

    [Chorus]

    If Iím with you
    Thereís nothing more we have to do
    So hereís my hand
    We can be together
    Underneath the stars are shining
    If Iím with you

    Verse 2

    I am fooled
    By my own mind
    As I twist the truth
    For my own desire
    But you
    Really turn me on right
    But I am off
    Cuz youíre not with me

    [Chorus]

    [Bridge]

    But you
    Are coming out your shell
    And Iím
    Will be more than well

    Iím what you need
    Iím what you need
    To be

    Oh open your eyes
    Wake up tonight
    Come to meÖ
    Come to me

    [Instrumentals]

    [Chorus]





    Submitted on 2007-08-07 02:30:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      tell you something there is something we call rhyme in music find it out and try to use it it will make you work better love
    | Posted on 2007-08-07 00:00:00 | by kingsley | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    147741

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Fasade written by jackz
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Ache written by rev.jpfadeproof
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Carry written by saartha
    Love written by saartha
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Cover written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    AI written by poetotoe
    written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry