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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: One Second Too Latedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Katana Ryoko
    ASL Info:    17/F/Cali
    Elite Ratio:    2.86 - 483/428/109
    Words: 101
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 874
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 658



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOne Second Too Latedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Lungs struggling to take in air
    Chest burning from the effort
    Maybe drowning wasn't the way
    To satisfy my curiousity of dying
    Now it's too late to turn back
    Can't tell up from down
    My vision is starting to blur
    My brain isn't doing any better
    Common sense refuses to kick in
    Til I remember, when you're at the end
    Follow the light to heaven
    I start to float towards my last hope
    But everything inside me is failing
    I can't go on much longer
    Taking in air, but finding water instead
    I die a second before I break the surface




    Submitted on 2007-08-07 09:44:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Wow. So sad. A tragedy in it's finest.
    I liked it. Can't relate since I've never
    died but I have been curious.

    <33

    }i{Renae}i{
    | Posted on 2007-08-12 00:00:00 | by Poetic_tragedy6 | [ Reply to This ]
      I like it, it is dark, but interesting.
    | Posted on 2007-08-07 00:00:00 | by Vampiric Death | [ Reply to This ]
      Write what you know... it's a pretty simple mantra for writers, so when you write this I know you don't know what it's like through some reasonable deductions that people don't write from beyond the grave.

    Some truly brilliant writers can go beyond this, but I'd encourage you to write more from your own life, your childhood or your life today rather than the nebulous suicide poem that you created here.
    | Posted on 2007-08-07 00:00:00 | by yonkit | [ Reply to This ]
      So tragic, but definitely well written, and well structured! Your storytelling is excellent, Katanya!
    | Posted on 2007-08-07 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]


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