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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My Ladydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Vampiric Death
    Elite Ratio:    2.27 - 133/159/91
    Words: 98
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 750
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 727



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy Ladydots
    -------------------------------------------


    O' beautiful lady,
    with porcelaine skin,
    Won't you please tell me,
    where have you been?

    O' lustrious lady,
    with fiery black hair,
    Why do you lie
    your broken heart bare?

    O' luminesce lady,
    with eyes of saphire,
    Why does my heart
    burn with desire?

    My all-knowing lady,
    luscious lips of charcoal,
    Why do I see
    such pain in your soul?

    My broken lady,
    mind full of hate,
    What must I do,
    your vengence to sate?

    Detestable wench,
    in darkness you bask,
    Why wont you tell me
    these things that I ask?





    Submitted on 2007-08-07 10:55:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Sounds like more of a song but i like it oh and hi Will How's your summer going? Mines good!
    | Posted on 2007-08-10 00:00:00 | by OscuraAmor | [ Reply to This ]
      Another terriffic write.
    | Posted on 2007-08-08 00:00:00 | by EseanB | [ Reply to This ]
      I love the flow, it was on point, no error there at all, love the words, u chose and sorted them expertly.

    Brian
    | Posted on 2007-08-08 00:00:00 | by b_v_grant | [ Reply to This ]
      The end was perfect. Sort of made me gasp because it was all sweet and then you turned on her with anger. I loved it. There's a few spelling mistakes, but I'm still going to add it to my favs.
    Katana
    | Posted on 2007-08-07 00:00:00 | by Katana Ryoko | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    12. Does it feel original?



    147755

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