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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Leavin It Behinddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Daokao
    Elite Ratio:    6.4 - 67/37/10
    Words: 132
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 642
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 790



    Description:
       I recently attended a funeral of a very good friend and was deeply moved by how many people had been touched by him during his time with us.
    Everyday we all look into that mirror and witness our own metemorphis. Time is short here. What will you leave behind? How will you be remembered?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLeavin It Behinddots
    -------------------------------------------


    It happens before you know it,
    time creeps up on you like that.
    You find yourself different one day,
    having gone through three dogs and a cat.

    A strange face appears in your mirror,
    one morning peeking above your cotton towel.
    You stare back at that stranger for a moment,
    your eyes blinking on that wrinkled scowl.

    Then the paradigm shift hits you,
    like a two by four to the side of your head.
    How will you be remembered by the foot prints
    made behind in the sand as you now tread.

    Deranged minds might decide to kill the famous;
    like a Kennedy, King or Lennon.
    But I prefer to be remembered differently,
    by the words like the ones you just read.




    Submitted on 2007-08-07 13:10:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      mmm....sometimes life is like that
    something hits you hard "like a two by four to the side of your head"
    its an interesting view on remembering people ...
    i like how you make it as the important things in live happens and make marks in history like footprint on the sand...
    sooner or later both will fade away...
    one when the wind erases it, the other when all the people who remembers pass away too

    i know there is nothing much i said about your piece but i do want to say something about your description...

    your first line in the description...i have a question
    why is it that after the person is gone and cant realise how much he/she has touched other people lives that the different lives that got touched show how he/she touched them?
    | Posted on 2008-02-08 00:00:00 | by rubymoon | [ Reply to This ]
      There's a strange thing about Leaving Behind.
    Deranged minds may think they have taken the presence of one out of this world but the strangest fact is that the demised are more remembered than the predemising.
    | Posted on 2007-08-07 00:00:00 | by realpoet | [ Reply to This ]
      Funerals are where the best and the worst are remembered of someone.

    For a spur of a moment thing I would rate it pretty decent. I felt the idea to be very promising and held a lot of potential but it seemed to be cut short. Like there should've been more on the last stanza.

    The second stanza was comedic though. I'm not old at all but whenever I look in the mirror it's pretty strange. Although that may be because I don't have my glasses on but that aside.

    I think it's very inspiring and I really like the idea. You gave me the opinion that you wrote like you spoke and that's what gives something personality.

    Good read!

    indelible_ink
    | Posted on 2007-08-07 00:00:00 | by Indelible_ink | [ Reply to This ]


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