To be honest this isn't what I was expecting. I really like the direction you took with this and the thoughts behind the whole thing. As you may remember, I'm of a rather pessimestic nature and although this has the form, for lack of a better term, of a happy little piece, looking deeper definitely leads one to the darker side--even if it's not blatantly stated. You did a marvelous job with this; my only complaint is that apparently I found this after revision. I would love to read the original. As always, it's be a pleasure; keep up the great work.
Wow. That couldn't be more true. Every line is perfect. I love it, especially the repetition of "In dreams." And the last line is wonderful, along with the rhyme scheme.
Hmm... there is nothing to critique here, so if you want a useful comment, you won't get it from me.
"Love is everlasting" I like that part... because it really is bulls*it, and that's what I was thinking about before I started reading this.
Eternal happiness IS only found in dreams, and that's so sad.
I wholeheartedly enjoyed every word of this. It's one of the best I've read in a very long time.
I like this one Lorna. It speaks in a soft comforting voice that in itself, leads to a brief reverie as I think about the images you offer.
I liked the range of "impossibilities", from the storybook cliché of everlasting love, to the wistful "chocolate isn't fattening"---to the more profound "freedom is actually free". All of these thoughts make me reflect on my own dreams as I relate what you say to my own experience.
I tink dreams are so important, --they are not an escape from reality, but a means to cping with it. Much of what we dream can become a reality, can spike creative solutions, can dull pain, and can offer peaceful respite in times of crisis. Dreams are gifts, and deserve more respect than they often receive--I think your poem touches on this , especially in the last stanza.
This poem had a lot of meaning it in it for how short it was. And it is true, that only in dreams, that they carry on this fortune of great events. No death, no crime, no mourning the dead on sleepless nights. Pure happiness. It is as if our dreams are our only heaven inside of the world to escape the true tragic things this earth is plauged with it. I praise you on your poem, I agree with it as well. If only our dreams could come true within this world, it would be of a better place...This was very beautiful...And I am glad I came across it tonight.
this was very cute. short and sweet, and wouldn't that be wonderful?? chocolate to not be fattening wow, theres my dream! although if death wasn't reality, and pain didn't exist, happiness and life wouldn't be quite as exhilarating. and if we were guaranteed those fairytale endings why would our guys ever need to work so hard, no more flattery or roses! ...or the free non fattening chocolate. it'd be madness! i guess thats why its left for our dreams. but its a very nice thought, maybe i'd visit this dreamland for a little while, and enjoy the sweeter parts of life.
The write in itself seems to be a testimony of personal experience. Maybe I am wrong.. But then again this is everyone
This has a soothing feel to it yet give the reader a slight tough of reality. Dreams are just dreams and tend to give us a way to feel better about situations gone sour and maybe allows us to see them the way we most want to see them.
I think we all can relate to this write only because it is the fairytales life and thoughts that we all seek but few only get to live.
I always like your piece. It's always written so delicate and with so much meaning. It makes me smile when i read it.
In dreams, anything can happen. Your unconsciousness is the mastermind and you can be anything and do anything. I love being in that place when reality is just too much to take. In my dreams, i become the hero instead of the victim and sometimes, after i wake up, i have the strength to face reality again.
The power of dreams.
nice write, though i feel like the last few lines strech meaning to match form. i see wha tyou mean, and feel for it, but just keep thinking htere's gotta be a way to be clearer . . . also, what if you swap "no" for "never" in2nd line 2nd stanza? since you use never later, it's better to not repeat it, and it flows better without as well i think.