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    dots Submission Name: Summer's Icedots

    Author: XxDaniellexX
    ASL Info:    17.f.uk
    Elite Ratio:    4.1 - 6/7/7
    Words: 142
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 619
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1008


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSummer's Icedots

    Summerís ice scalding my body
    A burning coldness stiffens my bones
    Frozen words spoken to melt my heart.

    Idle chit chat sounding in my ears
    Whispers Iím not meant to hear
    From the shadows. Iím not meant to be here.

    Itís isolation
    Itís contradiction
    Itís madness.

    A record stuck on repeat
    Echoing silence stuck on full volume
    As my world spins out of control.

    I hear both what is said and whatís not said
    I hear the judgement of thoughts not escaping the mouth
    I hear what Iím not meant to.

    Itís isolation
    Itís contradiction
    Itís madness.

    My thoughts are voiced not from my lips
    Not from bitter judgement
    But from the scraping needle on the blank record.

    My lifeís a silent movie,
    A tuneless record

    Itís isolation
    Itís contradiction
    Itís madness.

    Submitted on 2007-08-09 09:29:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      on the content of the poem:

    i don't know what else to say
    i don't think their IS anything else to say

    I think it was written well, a fine exapmle of free verse. It sounded a tad repetitive however. Not from the one stanza being repeated, but how you seemed to say the same exact thing just with different words in the diversified stanza's. I thought with the multiplication of the one your point would be achieved and you could have elboraited more through the other stanza's. Perhaps about why your life is the way it is?
    | Posted on 2007-08-09 00:00:00 | by poppi | [ Reply to This ]

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