Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Regret of Motiondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Ayane
    ASL Info:    17/F/IL
    Elite Ratio:    2.75 - 71/128/60
    Words: 238
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Longing
    Total Views: 748
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1516



    Description:
       I was listening to Manchester Orchestra last night, and around 3:00 AM these random lyrics floated into my head, so I had to write them down fast.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRegret of Motiondots
    -------------------------------------------


    They say loss just makes us stronger
    Hold on tighter and live longer
    But I'm starting to give out
    Well you got me thinking slowly
    Reels of tape, repeat, and rolling
    Through my mind and through my heart
    Again...

    That last night when you were sleeping
    Of our future I was dreaming
    While our breathing moved in the same sequence
    And I wish I'd known you were leaving
    When I watched while you were breathing
    I could've held on a little longer
    Than I did that one last time

    I've been searching in the boxes
    For some sign that never was
    But maybe this one will be it
    Rolling waves beneath my ocean
    Set all our plans in motion
    Taking you and everything, but me

    That last night when you were sleeping
    Of our future I was dreaming
    While our breathing moved in the same sequence
    And I wish I'd known you were leaving
    When I watched while you were breathing
    I could've held on a little longer
    Than I did that one last time

    So I'll scream at the top of my lungs
    Wave a white flag until all my
    Songs for you are sung
    Just so you'llk know what it really cost
    But how was I supposed to know?
    How was I supposed to know?


    I wish I could've held on longer...
    Oh God, just a little bit longer....




    Submitted on 2007-08-09 18:20:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Even though part of me looks at this as "yet another song about heartbreak", this one kinda strikes me as different. You have a certain quality that makes the person feel the sorrow that you're bringing across in this that is quite unique. Not really sure how to describe it. Anyways good job. I like your stuff. I'd like to see you attempt more lyrics though. I think you have a good gift, and could be put to use more with lyrics, and maybe eventually music. Just remember lyrics are like poetry, except in between the story in the lyrics, there's a "hook" thrown in there.
    Anyways, please check out some of my work too, and let me know what you think.
    | Posted on 2008-06-14 00:00:00 | by hybridsongwrite | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    147873

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    prison written by ShyOne
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Shi written by ShyOne
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Dream written by closetpoet
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Records I written by Raphael
    Etiquette written by saartha
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry