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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Temptationdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Blue Monk
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 1547/457/118
    Words: 99
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 967
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 625



    Description:
       Thus conscience does makes cowards of us all. - William Shakespeare (Hamlet)


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTemptationdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Strange flower, forbidden fruit
    so flaxen and fair
    so fresh and tender
    sweet fragrance harkens my youth
    bending conscience again

    Could that I find space
    within my basket
    then we might share
    brief glorious moments
    with each fruition

    Yet crime would it be
    while such joy we could find
    if my theft of that time
    caused true blessing to miss
    forever more

    And so I walk on
    with you left to chance
    my own rose to keep
    faithfully and tenderly
    down the path




    Submitted on 2007-08-09 23:18:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Like Deluka, I think of pedophilia. Which is what Deluka is talking about, except being very round-about with it. And you know what, I think your conscience did well. If he/she was extraordinarily young, like she was a child and you an adult, then I'm glad you stayed away. Maybe I'm assuming things, but then again, poetry's all about assumptions sometimes and making the best estimate of the poet you can.

    You're not a pedophile, as far as I know.

    This was pretty melodic and felt a little ancient in a sense that the words and the feeling overall made for a very aged read. There's some wisdom, some characteristic of live-and-let-live-for-I-have-lived, mostly in the last stanza. But you talk about giving this person a good experience, through experience. You know when you read something and you get an array of vibes? I'm getting that here. I sound like an idiot most of the time, but here especially. I just get a lot of different complexes and conflicts arising from the subject. Bitterness, longing, jealousy, surrender.

    It sounds a little medieval. And also, this wouldn't have been an issue back then.
    | Posted on 2010-08-14 00:00:00 | by JenFlynn | [ Reply to This ]
      Yeah i guess you did it well, good imaginary and the symbols that you used are ok, so good after all, and thanks for sharing, take care of you, and have a nice day, and thanks for the comments, too.
    peace and love
    victor
    | Posted on 2007-09-15 00:00:00 | by vitoko | [ Reply to This ]
      Reading this one now for the fourth time....and each time i read it i came up with the same meaning...so here goes....you have met someone who is younger than you and there seems to be a connection...but your conscience tells you it's wrong....So you go on down the road leaving this person behind only having memories of this person....If I'm right then I'm glad you listened to your conscience because if this person is to young you did the right thing by walking away....If it's meant to be then when she/he is old enough and if you two feel the same connection then go for it....anyways thats just my opinion ....take care
    | Posted on 2007-08-12 00:00:00 | by deluka | [ Reply to This ]
      The knowledge of what is right and what is wrong prevents you from straying from promised devotion?
    A lost art, I think.
    I epecially enjoyed the last stanza; leaving possibilities to chance and walking your chosen path, faithfully and tenderly.
    Wonderful sentiments.
    | Posted on 2007-08-12 00:00:00 | by latentlylyrical | [ Reply to This ]


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