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    dots Submission Name: Moredots

    Author: mysterious one
    ASL Info:    24/f/in my head
    Elite Ratio:    3.61 - 58/57/17
    Words: 91
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 622
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 613


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    As she pressed the peddle
    straight to the floor
    she whispered to herself
    there has to be more

    Gazing at the road
    with nothing in sight
    she must get away
    but is this right

    She'd always been taught
    never to run
    to face her problems
    to fight the gun

    Her head was jumbled
    with thoughts of regret
    as she swerved to the side
    her fate was met

    A single white cross
    now rests in the place
    where she learned a hard lesson
    more isn't always the case

    Submitted on 2007-08-12 21:04:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Well done! Great message and right to the point. Your words flowed off my tongue, and I do like to read aloud. We've had far too many traffic deaths around her lately; I wish everyone would read and heed your poem. Sharon
    | Posted on 2007-09-01 00:00:00 | by Peggy Paris | [ Reply to This ]
      This is great! Very simple and straight to the point1 And I can relate becasue sometimes I wonder there has to be more! My fave part would have to be when you said She'd always been taught
    never to run
    to face her problems
    to fight the gun
    I love the way you put this into words a motto I grew up with personally but sometimes it's not all that easy and you do just wanna run! A fave for sure Great write!
    | Posted on 2007-08-20 00:00:00 | by Hip-Hop Honey | [ Reply to This ]
      YOu know, I didn't think you needed to go any further with this. Personally I thought the shortness with this made it . You got to the point without the help of too many words. Some people think the longer the better but sometimes that ends up to be the very thing to make many readers turn away. It's nice to make your readers come up with their own conclusions and versions. I say good job.
    | Posted on 2007-08-13 00:00:00 | by Jessa | [ Reply to This ]
      hi, i liked this, but i think you can go further with it, the last paragraph made me want to read more, so if u do extend it, let me know i would love to read it.

    sk x x x
    | Posted on 2007-08-13 00:00:00 | by secret kisses | [ Reply to This ]

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