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Submission Name: More dots

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Author:	mysterious one
ASL Info:	19/f/in my head
Elite Ratio:	3.55 - 56/56/16
Words:	91

Class/Type:	Poetry/Longing
Total Views:	127
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	613

Description:

More

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As she pressed the peddle
straight to the floor
she whispered to herself
there has to be more

Gazing at the road
with nothing in sight
she must get away
but is this right

She'd always been taught
never to run
to face her problems
to fight the gun

Her head was jumbled
with thoughts of regret
as she swerved to the side
her fate was met

A single white cross
now rests in the place
where she learned a hard lesson
more isn't always the case

Submitted on 2007-08-12 21:04:27 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
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||| Comments |||
  Well done! Great message and right to the point. Your words flowed off my tongue, and I do like to read aloud. We've had far too many traffic deaths around her lately; I wish everyone would read and heed your poem. Sharon
| Posted on 2007-09-01 00:00:00 | by Peggy Paris | [ Reply to This ]
  This is great! Very simple and straight to the point1 And I can relate becasue sometimes I wonder there has to be more! My fave part would have to be when you said She'd always been taught
never to run
to face her problems
to fight the gun
I love the way you put this into words a motto I grew up with personally but sometimes it's not all that easy and you do just wanna run! A fave for sure Great write!
| Posted on 2007-08-20 00:00:00 | by Hip-Hop Honey | [ Reply to This ]
  YOu know, I didn't think you needed to go any further with this. Personally I thought the shortness with this made it . You got to the point without the help of too many words. Some people think the longer the better but sometimes that ends up to be the very thing to make many readers turn away. It's nice to make your readers come up with their own conclusions and versions. I say good job.
| Posted on 2007-08-13 00:00:00 | by Jessa | [ Reply to This ]
  hi, i liked this, but i think you can go further with it, the last paragraph made me want to read more, so if u do extend it, let me know i would love to read it.

sk x x x
| Posted on 2007-08-13 00:00:00 | by secret kisses | [ Reply to This ]

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