Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: our own little worlddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: secret kisses
    ASL Info:    22/f/uk
    Elite Ratio:    2.81 - 558/438/138
    Words: 113
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 732
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 687



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsour own little worlddots
    -------------------------------------------


    i love the way we sit here,
    in the summer breeze,
    whilst hearing the wind go by,
    and watching it playing in fallen leaves.

    i love the way the grass feels,
    as i stroke it with my hand,
    and seeing each strand move together,
    all throughout the land.

    can you smell how sweet this flower is,
    as i stroke it against your lips,
    and jst how smooth the petels are,
    as i brush it over your finger tips.

    i love laying here together,
    watching the clouds sail by,
    in our own little world just you and me,
    where no one can touch you and i x







    Submitted on 2007-08-13 15:36:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      some lovely rhyme and meter here! (this very fine poem does, however, need some editing to be "top drawer", several typos which can be fixed easily.) bravo ... bravo... bravo...
    | Posted on 2007-09-04 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    148031

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Push written by JanePlane
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    This written by Chelebel
    Linger written by saartha
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Bond written by saartha
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    new moon written by CrypticBard

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry