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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Hallowed Walldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Keaton Volkov
    ASL Info:    18/M/Ohio
    Elite Ratio:    4.73 - 22/17/13
    Words: 159
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Dark
    Total Views: 671
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1138



    Description:
       This is what comes out of my mind when I'm tired, I've been stood up by 5 different girls in one month, and some guy threatens to kill me.

    But hey, it's decent.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHallowed Walldots
    -------------------------------------------



    -Verse 1
    These chains they rip his veins,
    The Ugly One hes called.
    The world he cannot see
    From within his hallowed wall.

    His dreams they have replaced
    With shackles wrought of steel.
    Hatred and denial
    Become his only meal

    Beyond his humble wall,
    The Hell-Dwellers they preen.
    Ugly One cares not,
    For their world he has seen.

    -Chorus
    All his fears, they melt away
    Into his hallowed wall.
    The things that he has kept
    Will never again fall.

    -Verse 2

    Among the harmless lies,
    A slight gray truth remains.
    Inside his every heartbeat,
    Their shallow words still stain.

    They cheat, they lie they steal,
    His very life grows thin.
    They never cared to know
    Their actions were his end.

    As now the wall goes down,
    The Ugly One stands not.
    Hes in a better place,
    Hell-Dwellers stay with their lot.

    -Chorus

    -Amazing 3 minute guitar solo.




    Submitted on 2007-08-14 19:39:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
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    ||| Comments |||
      Brutal, very brutal,
    These chains they rip his veins
    best part of the whole piece for sure, really grabs ya.
    cool I liked it, if you have any time I'd love it if you could comment on some of my work
    thank you
    | Posted on 2007-08-15 00:00:00 | by lynn marsters | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    148098

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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    January 10 07
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