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We fell upon a crimson bed, softly scented petals of red. Lovers entangled in the sheets, suffocating the loneliness. We laid beneath a cobalt sky, staring into rose tinted eyes. Dewy skin glistened from the heat, suffocating the loneliness. The rose petals have all but dried, still, you are the thorn in my side. Lovers trapped in web of deceit, suffocating the loneliness. |
oooo, I like this a lot, very warm and loving in the first stanza with a great progression to the end, I very much enjoyed suffocating the loneliness. I think that that should be the title of this piece, it ties all three stanzas together beautifully, I don't have any criticism for this at all, but I would really appreciate any constructive criticism you could give me on my work, thank you | Posted on 2007-08-15 00:00:00 | by lynn marsters | [ Reply to This ] | |