Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: My recorddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: every48seconds
    ASL Info:    25/M/toronto
    Elite Ratio:    3.32 - 123/163/129
    Words: 86
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 658
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 574



    Description:
       Umm well i wrote this cause like , felt like this , i could explain better but like you'll probably get it , and thanks to everyone who ever commented on anything i ever wrote , i really accreciate it alot , more than anything , thanks again


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy recorddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Silent record
    Scratching sounds cut through the air
    With every sound a rock falls
    By the hands of strangers at times
    Others by family
    And mostly by friends
    The record slowly begins cracking
    Eventually snaps
    Then just gets put back together somehow
    Silent record is all it's supposed to be
    No sound , simply there
    To occupy the time of those that feel like watching
    And when there done
    It goes silent once more
    Until it crackes once more , without it coming back together




    Submitted on 2007-08-15 10:02:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This was pretty Good, I think i t could use more work on the flow and re-wording the piece a lil bit in area's to have the piece go toghther better other then that i like how u use the smybol of a record in your piece that somthing diff and the good..

    Well hope to hear from you and keep up the good work

    Max
    | Posted on 2007-08-15 00:00:00 | by theman | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    148117

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Promise written by annie0888
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    To written by SavedDragon
    Push written by JanePlane
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry