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    dots Submission Name: Waiting, wishing, longingdots

    Author: elseibi
    ASL Info:    20/f/uk
    Elite Ratio:    3.13 - 228/180/38
    Words: 81
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 1264
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 499

       Just a lil something i wrote while thinking of a certain someone - he knows who he is.

    love n luck xx

    Ps. thankies for your help with this one Ron :D

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWaiting, wishing, longingdots

    I wish on every star at night,
    as they each sparkle oh so bright,
    that someday soon we two shall be,
    together again, eternally,

    I long to see your face each day,
    and hear your voice as soft you say,
    those three words you speak so sweet,
    as our eyes once more do meet,

    I wait impatient for that day,
    when you'll arrive, i hope, to stay,
    and each day then forevermore,
    youíll know itís you that I adore.

    Submitted on 2007-08-15 10:56:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Oh, this is soooo very excellent! So wonderful and deftly done throughout! Lyrical and lovely, I absolutely love this poem! Love it, love it, love it! bravo.... bravo... bravo.... michael
    | Posted on 2008-01-29 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]
      Very good writing skills are evident in this romantic little poem. I'm a lover of iambic meter and enjoyed the read. You must write more!! :-) Sharon
    | Posted on 2007-12-13 00:00:00 | by Peggy Paris | [ Reply to This ]
      It's hard to write a long one about something like this, since you have that talent of getting an idea--a story--across with minimal effort and no use of excess. I think you might want to go back and give it a proofreading for grammar, since I spotted a few inconsistencies in there, but otherwise point received.

    Good luck with eternity--and hopefully it really is.

    | Posted on 2007-08-20 00:00:00 | by crimson echo | [ Reply to This ]
      Lovely little piece, but when I first came on this site I was given the davice to try and word poems in the third person, it was really hard for me at first because I connect with my work in the first person very strongly but it invloves the reader if you use 3rd person, as well as adding a sense of mystery, but lovely flow, keep up the god work ! :)
    | Posted on 2007-08-15 00:00:00 | by lynn marsters | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this, Everything flowed great and it was sweet and very heartfelt..acutally im addin this to my fave.

    well hope to hear from u and keep up the good work

    | Posted on 2007-08-15 00:00:00 | by theman | [ Reply to This ]
      Outstanding! I'm glad you posted this, as it is a delightful love poem! I'm glad I could be of help!
    | Posted on 2007-08-15 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]

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