Description: Its pretty self explanitory.
I was thinking about my ex.
9 months gone.
And I had a breakdown...
And started crying and writing..
Id like youre opinions...I havent thought about her in a long time.
I liked this up to the third stanza, which has a good sense of an ending. This stanza has a Dr. Seuss quality to it, which breaks the sentimentality and makes the lines:
Alone in this park."
ironically funny. Because all lovesickness has its laughs. I don't know if that's what you intended, but it's there and it's worth keeping.
You have a good sense of rhythm, but the rhyming couplets you favor often get in the way of the emotion you're conveying. You should try something without rhyme ... blank verse or free verse ... or with occasional rhyme ... and experiment with broken rhythm.
aww i love this! usually it seems like guys are soulless and have no heart, but in this poem it proves that it's really all just a front. if you love her enough and she's worth it, chase her. that's probably all that she wants. this was a great poem. i look forward to reading more.
This is deep! And I'm sorry you had to go through such thing! I know it's hard been there done that! My fave part would have to be I'm left in the dark.
Alone in this park.
Not the best way to cope but I would certainly do the same..I love the whole thing your really talented! And I hope things get better and trust me it will get better and you do move on no matter how hard it is to move!