Its a good piece but you might wanna change some of the words like in the first sentence Intelegant and the third stanve it should be Remorse instead of recourse other wise it was a good piece (can you comment my piece Behind the Window SIll)?
I think the idea behind this is good, but it has a lot of abstract words and phrases like 'creepily showy.' SHOW how it's that rather than telling us. You also end this rather abstractly as well (and also with a chiche). words are your tools. they are what evoke a response in the reader. this didn't evoke anything in me.
Loved the ideas of truth, lies and words... and I find the choise of expresion indeed veryyy "elegant" 8-> ... although the 'tale' is "inelegant"... but we have the lies to make everything a little more shiny :)
I want be able to tell you that I truly enjoyed this read but I would not be telling the entire truth. I felt that the way this was worded was quite laborious and imminently repetitious to the point of being rather disconcerting. The effort was very good but the outcome leaves something to be desired.
Submission Name: Liar
