[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: So hard not to crydots

    Author: Magger32
    ASL Info:    18-female-PA.
    Elite Ratio:    2.45 - 53/131/124
    Words: 116
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 990
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 808

       A girl that has tried not to cry in life.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSo hard not to crydots

    Child of the night and shadowy corners,
    Walk alone through the corridors.
    Pick the path of dripping blood over emotional tears.
    Hide the past as you carry on through your years.

    Lonely you hide…
    To fight off emotion.
    Drowning yourself with this potion.

    Hate the spell that cannot be broken.
    Love the charm which is never spoken.

    Would you rather speak through tears;
    Or anger’s fate?

    I would rather fight,
    Than congregate.

    Speak hatefull words…
    You know you could be said as worse.
    Worlds spill past your control.
    Tears fill your eyes.
    You’re filled with hate and selfish pride.

    It’s just so hard not to cry!!

    Submitted on 2007-08-17 16:01:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I got the gist of your internal pain during the reading of this piece. Unfortuately I felt that you were trapped by your rhyme schem rather than helped by it. Whe rhyme sounds forced it diminishes the effect of the piece.
    | Posted on 2007-08-20 00:00:00 | by ErgoIgo | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a very intimate & emotional piece that has much meaning!

    Yes, how hard we sometimes try to conceal our pain and beauty.

    The tears flow when ready and you will take them as droplets in your sea of self ~ ~ ~

    love,peace,joy&smiles to share= )

    | Posted on 2007-08-17 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]