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    dots Submission Name: the amber heartdots

    Author: blackbird
    ASL Info:    31/male/reykjavik iceland
    Elite Ratio:    2.35 - 194/328/300
    Words: 34
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 604
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 240


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    dotsthe amber heartdots

    in all the laughters of being
    i have been.
    & have known all the sparks
    & subtle furies
    of the amber heart.
    live, love
    & relax into the atmospheres
    of your own existence...

    Submitted on 2007-08-18 14:50:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      This to me, is extremely spiritual on several levels. Perhaps it is just me, or how I read it...

    'the laughters of being'... there is a child-like god quality there...laughing at being. Being in the moment and not having enough experience to doubt it's real.
    And better yet, having been...recognizing the connection of finding that self/other self for the first time...that AHA factor...

    Anyway...that's where it took me.
    | Posted on 2007-10-16 00:00:00 | by isabella | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked it but I agree with Venia on the &'s thing. Good wright
    | Posted on 2007-08-19 00:00:00 | by Katlord | [ Reply to This ]
      Overall, I liked this. I don't really know how to express what I liked about it, but just take my word for it. It's good.

    My only objection is the lack of punctuation and capitalization. It just makes it seem more finished; more like you actually intend for someone to read it.

    & have known all the sparks
    & subtle furies

    I don't really like the &s here. I think you'd be better off writing it as something more like

    "I have known all the sparks,
    the subtle furies."

    But Kudos,
    Keep writing,

    | Posted on 2007-08-19 00:00:00 | by Venia | [ Reply to This ]

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