Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: the amber heartdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: blackbird
    ASL Info:    31/male/reykjavik iceland
    Elite Ratio:    2.35 - 194/328/300
    Words: 34
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 591
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 240



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthe amber heartdots
    -------------------------------------------


    in all the laughters of being
    i have been.
    & have known all the sparks
    & subtle furies
    of the amber heart.
    live, love
    & relax into the atmospheres
    of your own existence...




    Submitted on 2007-08-18 14:50:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This to me, is extremely spiritual on several levels. Perhaps it is just me, or how I read it...

    'the laughters of being'... there is a child-like god quality there...laughing at being. Being in the moment and not having enough experience to doubt it's real.
    And better yet, having been...recognizing the connection of finding that self/other self for the first time...that AHA factor...

    Anyway...that's where it took me.
    | Posted on 2007-10-16 00:00:00 | by isabella | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked it but I agree with Venia on the &'s thing. Good wright
    | Posted on 2007-08-19 00:00:00 | by Katlord | [ Reply to This ]
      Overall, I liked this. I don't really know how to express what I liked about it, but just take my word for it. It's good.

    My only objection is the lack of punctuation and capitalization. It just makes it seem more finished; more like you actually intend for someone to read it.

    & have known all the sparks
    & subtle furies

    I don't really like the &s here. I think you'd be better off writing it as something more like

    "I have known all the sparks,
    the subtle furies."

    But Kudos,
    Keep writing,
    ~Venia

    | Posted on 2007-08-19 00:00:00 | by Venia | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    148231

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Love written by saartha
    Cover written by saartha
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Records I written by Raphael
    The World written by jjd
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    untitled written by ShyOne
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    prison written by ShyOne
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry