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    dots Submission Name: Graydots

    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 38
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 962
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 231

       I have no idea what to make of this one. I love the last three lines. I thought I'd see what others think.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    He studies clipper ships all the gray afternoon in his pomegranate kitchen.
    He is trembling in this guilty nowhere.
    The form of his sad-eyed body like an old building
    held up by snow and stars.

    Submitted on 2004-02-04 00:41:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      hrm... vacant is a good word... but that's a good thing... a little vacancy can be calming... It will be interesting to see what others make of this. I can see the picture... feels like the last three seconds of All My Children or something... Nice. <><
    | Posted on 2004-03-21 00:00:00 | by WorththeWait | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't really know what to make of it either. Nice words though, and you can feel the hint of an emotion in the setting. I don't suppose it's nescessary that it really have any meaning.
    | Posted on 2004-02-04 00:00:00 | by DevilDinosaur | [ Reply to This ]
      seems like something is missing, built up a good base for structure and plot so with a little more thought you can have a good write, i do like the last three lines also
    | Posted on 2004-02-04 00:00:00 | by brokenbatman | [ Reply to This ]

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