[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Unknowingdots

    Author: crimson echo
    ASL Info:    21 M U.S. of A
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 412/150/55
    Words: 166
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Longing
    Total Views: 703
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1040

       Imagine my surprise when, while disassembling lunch trays at work, I was hit in the face with a chorus line...

    Then imagine my boss's surprise when I proceeded to rip the flap off of a nearby cardboard box and start writing...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    The rain is pouring down,
    a stream of tears born of the sky--
    there, blaze forth lighning: reach out for the dark.
    And I wonder if I now lie down to die.

    I hear them calling now.
    Still, I fear to open up my eyes.
    They say that our fear's all that we've ever had:
    still I know, I've looked upon You as you cry.

    Is it your forgiveness that I seek,
    or that You would break me down to the ground?
    Or some redemption of the weak,
    or for the love that we've never found?
    Can You be called upon a moment,
    to speak away the storms that You condone?
    Are you a high, uncaring spirit,
    or can I believe You when you say we're never alone?

    What's lost cannot be found
    by trusting human means alone.
    Perhaps that's what I fear: all that I've ever seen
    giving way to what no mind has ever known.


    Submitted on 2007-08-20 13:25:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||

    I always liked angsty musings and spectacular images in poetry and it's safe to say that nothing has changesd. You've done an irrevocably good job here. I like the "line of thinking" tone this piece has and can't help but melting in the melancholy and serene sadness of it.


    | Posted on 2007-09-05 00:00:00 | by Porcelaine | [ Reply to This ]
      How inextricably sad. I enjoy Christian music on a whole, but I must mention out of all the lyrics I've looked up (and that's quite a bit, mind!) this seems to be the most questioning of all of them. The verses, sound slightly forced however, maybe I'll just need to make up some tune in my head.

    or can I believe You when you say we're never alone?

    it's such a powerful line, I think that's what stuck out to me, a searching for perhaps meaning in otherwise brief and fleeting existence. However a wise person once told me we ARE NEVER ALONE. As long as we have the voices in our heads and the Lord in our hearts, there is nothing else to be desired of the world.

    Except maybe tacos.

    | Posted on 2007-08-21 00:00:00 | by Azuire | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Shi written by ShyOne
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Carry written by saartha
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Records I written by Raphael




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]