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    dots Submission Name: she ended itdots

    Author: allmine
    ASL Info:    25/chick/your nightmares
    Elite Ratio:    2.52 - 33/69/45
    Words: 156
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 703
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 958


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    dotsshe ended itdots

    the last breath
    the last thought that goes through her head
    the last thing she see's as her world goes black
    the coldness she feels as her body goes numb
    the memmories of you that slowly fade
    But as her world is consumed by darkness
    she can still hear your voice
    she can still feel your touch
    the secret I love yous
    and the kisses that she never wanted to end
    then the last tear falls from her eye
    as she lyes there on the floor
    the blood pooring from her wrist
    she thinks of you
    all the love she felt for you
    and all the feelings that she wanted to end
    you left her
    knowing the love she felt for you
    promising her you would never leave without her
    there she was all alone
    unable to take the pain of the heartace
    she's ended it all
    her love
    her pain
    her memmories
    her life

    Submitted on 2007-08-20 18:13:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This was written pretty well. it needs some work though. Like structure and flow, maybe work on your wording to. It was a nice read though. Keep up the good work, and I'll keep reading

    | Posted on 2007-10-03 00:00:00 | by MinervaBlu | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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