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    dots Submission Name: everytime i close my eyes i see you facedots

    Author: ladiesplanet1
    ASL Info:    23.cali baby
    Elite Ratio:    3.58 - 720/463/165
    Words: 122
    Class/Type: Lyrics/I hate you
    Total Views: 419
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 724

       just some shit ive had in the back of my notebook for a while.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotseverytime i close my eyes i see you facedots

    for myself i feel hate
    no one could relate
    to how i feel like bait
    no one can erase
    the mistakes i make
    no one can debate
    its too late
    for me to go on
    when i know im wrong
    when i know i dont deserve my life
    when i know you already reserve the knife
    and for the pain i feel
    it feels unreal
    its so surreal
    i'll never heal
    close my eyes and go to sleep
    dream of you wake up and weep
    the time we had was like a treat


    everytime i close my eyes
    i see your face and SCREAM
    please let this be a dream

    Submitted on 2007-08-21 04:31:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      i agree that the verses are a bit choppy.
    in the rhyme pattern i think.

    but with the right music.

    i could be wrong.


    take care.
    | Posted on 2008-02-29 00:00:00 | by shawnaSUNSHINE | [ Reply to This ]
      ouch...this is kind of painful.

    I would love to hear it...
    | Posted on 2007-10-21 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]
      i really like your churous i guess it would be. It has really good rythum. The verse is really choppy, although it might sound really good put to the right music. I like it, although i have to say the choppiness kinda makes it hard to read and to understnad. Just something to think about.
    ps. thankyou so much for the comments, they really have inspired me to start posting more of my writing.
    | Posted on 2007-09-11 00:00:00 | by Moonshadow | [ Reply to This ]

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