Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: laiddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: DontLetGo421
    Elite Ratio:    2.18 - 118/238/141
    Words: 121
    Class/Type: Poetry/Being a Teen
    Total Views: 833
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 702



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotslaiddots
    -------------------------------------------


    feeling lost , unsure of where my feet will fall
    seems almost silly that it's cured by your call
    i dont know what to do when all i want is to be close
    i should have taken little but ive seemed to overdose

    i have all the words but suddenly their gone
    your voice floods me till all i have is drawn
    hoping you'll understand the words i never said
    worrying afterward that you didnt end up misled

    i know your sick game but still i play along
    this feels so right but we both know it's wrong
    i cant tell you what we'll be by the end of this charade
    single together heart broken or maybe just laid




    Submitted on 2007-08-21 19:55:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      "i dont know what to do when all i want is to be close
    i should have taken little but ive seemed to overdose"

    I love that. I can't believe no one's comment on this. It's awesome.

    I know what you mean. I relate more than I want to, and I really like the way you said it.

    Oh, and the last two lines... Perfect!!

    What else can I say?

    Very nicely done.

    -nikkki
    | Posted on 2007-11-18 00:00:00 | by Razor2TheRosary | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    148371

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Wavelength written by saartha
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Linger written by saartha
    Push written by JanePlane
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    To written by SavedDragon

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry