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    dots Submission Name: Violetstormsdots

    Author: Sun
    ASL Info:    18/m/tn
    Elite Ratio:    3.39 - 43/54/14
    Words: 422
    Class/Type: Story/Misc
    Total Views: 760
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 2321

       after a long vacation from elite skills writing my books "Violetstorms" i was practically battered to death by friends to post some of the peices to see what the public thought. lol. i hope everyone likes it... it may not makes sense again these are just peices...i will be posting several more of them... try to comment on the writing style rather than the story i guess.


    ps i know! i cant spell worth a damn... thank god for spell check in word!

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Surrounded by little farming villages among beautiful rolling hills stood the wonderful and always busy town of Tel Par. With its old, yet seemingly timeless buildings, and its soft spoken people, Tel Par seemed more like a warm bristling city filled with exciting, and often times, exotic people from all over the world, rather than a war ready frontline of the empire. Though militarily strong, Tel Par was more times then not, just a friendly place with friendly people, where freedom was held high, and well paid for.
    Tel Par was an old city filled with activity at any time, day or night. It stood tall over the me’thone river, busy with trade and moving war ships on the ready. At night the river, used by day for trading and such, became the place to party. Many bar shacks lined the bay where people would dance to live music, drink and trade stories of their brave adventures and great treasures found and lost. People from all over Expia would come to party and gamble on the Golden Decks, a huge ship that drops anchor in the middle of the river where people could have a few drinks and play a round or two of cards.

    The April morning air was cool and damp. The Clouds hung heavily in the sky casting shadows upon the wet ground. Free from the cold of winter, the air was now brisk and refreshing instead of bitter and frigid like it was only a few weeks ago. Here and there, rays of sunlight would find its way through the heavy clouds and shine softly over Tel Par, the heart and soul of the Tellithian Kingdom.
    Jesse slept restlessly in her four poster bed. Soft rays began pouring into her bedroom to chase the darkness of night away, as Jesse stirred in her sleep. Morning light danced off little glass trinkets on a nearby shelf scattering small specs of light across the wall. A small breeze from the open window played with violet dressings that draped from the top of her bed.
    Alas, Jesse could sleep no more. Though tired and a bit cold, she willed herself upright in bed with the covers draped over here shoulders. She leaned against one of the posters of her bed staring blankly out her window. Her strawberry blond hair was turned mostly to one side and messy from a miserable night of sleep. Of late, Jesse was haunted by horrible and puzzling dreams...

    Submitted on 2007-08-22 03:10:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      It's beautiful the way you painted a whimsical image of this girls room in the morning with the slight breeze coming into the room (a breeze flying through curtains is always enchanting) and the way in which you described the light and colors that leaves the reader almost ready to hop right into the room and settle in for awhile.

    The main thing is that it left me wanting to read more, and that is the key trademark of all great writers.
    | Posted on 2007-11-27 00:00:00 | by paintingangels | [ Reply to This ]
      a bit like drinking a Mike's hard lemonade, sweet fruity, deceptively light but in front of your mind knowing you'll have to have another, and in the back of your mind knowing you may pay for it the next morning.

    the begin.ing was a tinsy bit shmaltzy for my taste but once you got past the initial intro i was quite enticed. in a few lines you managed to create a character and environment that can be related to.

    very nice
    | Posted on 2007-08-22 00:00:00 | by in shadow | [ Reply to This ]

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