Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Truth About Heartbeatsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Ayane
    ASL Info:    17/F/IL
    Elite Ratio:    2.75 - 71/128/60
    Words: 257
    Class/Type: Poetry/Lostfriend
    Total Views: 769
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1676



    Description:
       Got my updates on how Elli's doing. I've been in a down mood since then so I felt like writing this.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Truth About Heartbeatsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Now they'll lay me down to sleep

    On the cardboard mattress and paper-thin sheets

    The lights above me flicker restlessly

    On and off....Off and on...

    In the distance I can hear footsteps approaching

    But I know that this place is silent

    Alive only with dead silence; Irony

    The imagined footsteps are aligned

    With each decending peak on the monitor next to me

    They're not getting closer, just louder

    And in a sense, more distant

    Each of my heartbeats are mile markers

    Counting how far away I'll be taken away from you

    Each of my heartbeats are the clicks of piano keys

    Playing out my last piece I wrote for you

    Each of my heartbeats are each one of the snowflakes

    That we danced around in together so long ago

    Each heartbeat stands for each memory

    That has run through my head

    I'm trying to remember all of them

    For I don't think I'll be making anymore new ones

    My heartbeats are getting louder

    The red cross painted on the large window

    Is flickering out of focus along with the lights

    And the green lines jumping to my right

    Until the clicks, beeping, and buzzing are all one

    One melancholy requiem that I'm sending out to you

    Each one of my heartbeats are all of the days

    That I wish I could have stayed with you




    Submitted on 2007-08-22 18:55:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    148431

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    To Glow written by krs3332003
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Giving written by jjd
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Incubus written by monad
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Linger written by saartha
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    This written by Chelebel
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    To written by SavedDragon
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Bond written by saartha
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry