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    dots Submission Name: Cafe Girldots

    Author: BleedingTears
    ASL Info:    16/f/Neverland
    Elite Ratio:    4.06 - 418/289/62
    Words: 165
    Class/Type: Poetry/Society
    Total Views: 710
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1142

       one day I was just thinking about all the things i see when i sit around in coffeehouses, or waiting rooms and what not and wrote about it.
    the commas are to make it more dramatic and represent pauses.
    the music i was listening to kinda changed the way i wrote as well.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCafe Girldots

    She walks in so gracefully,
    make-up smeared,
    lips perfectly painted.
    Her expensive clothes dripping dry,
    looking weak against the floresent light,
    washing out the look on her face.

    The man sitting at the table by the door,
    examines her with more than eyes.
    Willing to buy her time, and her body.
    But she's not that type of girl.
    And he knows it, but won't care.

    The guy waiting in line,
    drowning out the silence with music in his ears.
    Intimidated by all she can present,
    daring the whites behind his lips,
    and the words in his throat,
    for her.
    But she doesn't care, because he doesn't care.

    The girl working behind the counter,
    disgusted with envy,
    Standing with pride, knowing they're nothing of the same.
    Nothing the same, all covered in shame.

    And all along I sit here,
    writing lines of what people say,
    with no sound, no movement.
    And all along nobody realizes that there's more to coffeeshop poems.

    Submitted on 2007-08-22 21:11:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      i work in a coffeeshop.
    i love inventing stories about customers.
    i like the way you cause the customers to interact without talking... thats kinda cool
    and it really is like that... the way our lives intermingle by accident.

    and you know... its to the point that some customers smile at me and i wonder whether i know them from somewhere other than work... i guess its coz theyre regulars but not regular enough to know... you know?

    i have to say though that my absolute pet peeve is the second guy... the one with the headphones/music playing. i am so close to refusing to serve people who cant take their headphones off long enough to ask for a coffee or whatever... its the height of rudeness if you ask me.

    rant over.
    nice piece
    | Posted on 2008-06-24 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      And indeed there is (more to coffeeshop poems)! Thanks for this delightful visit to the Coffee Shop, through your eyes and your skilled pen! This was a fun and interesting read!
    | Posted on 2008-02-09 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      much detail...i love it!...very unordinary.....could have been longer cause I enjoyed it too much.....perhaps a cafegirl2?....maybe "latte's and love"...lol..keep up the good work! :D
    | Posted on 2007-11-11 00:00:00 | by iaida | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey, this IS neat and nifty and full of wonderful poetic insight. You draw sharp and clear images here... loved it... loved it... loved it... bravo... bravo ... bravo ... michael
    | Posted on 2007-10-09 00:00:00 | by Algol46 | [ Reply to This ]
      this was pretty cool. it had a nice pitter-patter beat to it. kinda like something i would hear at a reading. mabye kinda jazzy. i liked the idea of u the writer watchin all the happenings that go down in a certain place. kinda like an expresion of just one of the particular interesting people u would meet in a coffee shop. very cool.

    | Posted on 2007-08-23 00:00:00 | by Sun | [ Reply to This ]

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