This is one incrediby powerful write
For some reason this write instantly draws me back to 5 years ago when I was battling an incredibly hard battle with Crystal Meth
Thank God I am now sober for 2 and a half years
I couldnt have done it without the Love of my Family and The Lords Love
You did an excellent job with this
Very Sad but VERY VERY TRUE!!!
Please if you get a chance Please take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
It's funny how you categorized this as deep thought/dark. I will give you the darkness of it, but not the deep thought. It's just a thought as far as anybody is concerned - though I don't deny it leaves the door open to deeper thought. Any thought does given the will, given the impassioned heart; perplexity lies only within those who relish triviums of questioning. I didn't really see the poetry in all of this... you made a few simple metaphors, and your vernacular fell into wiles at times. Ominous, I don't quite like the word... May I suggest Ubiquitous? Clouds - Shrouds. Darkness? Void? Omission of (insert omited object).. Nebulosity? Think about working out capitalization, punctuation... To you, as a writer it might not seem important as a matter of orgeuille... Pride should I say.... But it adds this thing we call visual aesthetics... It doesn't change the poem itself, doesn't suddenly qualify as America's next top Poet or anything... But it does distract the reader a lot less... It let's them focus on your poetry a lot more... But that is just a choice... And another tweek.. Prophesy.. It doesn't fit into your piece... It reads awkwardly... And it doesn't fit in with the sense of anything...
Whatever. It was a thought, didn't much impassion my heart... does need tweeking.