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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Absorb The Rhythmdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: deluka
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 143/71/27
    Words: 60
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 135
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 393



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAbsorb The Rhythmdots
    -------------------------------------------



    Dance precious one
    the time is now right
    let your music take you
    to a place of delight.

    Sing those songs
    as they absorb into the soul
    feel your music's beat
    as it moves from head to toe.

    Your eyes shine
    when you let yourself go
    so dance to the rhythm
    that forever flows.





    Submitted on 2007-08-25 17:54:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      A nice, short and yet just the right amount of description of love.. as music..........

    yes, your readers can agree with this......love is like a sweet rhythm that throbs with every beat of one's heart...that is meant to last a lifetime and to be cherished to the fullest.

    You put that well in poetry.

    Good work : )
    | Posted on 2008-07-13 00:00:00 | by mdsouza | [ Reply to This ]
      This one is short but oh so sweet my friend. If I may make one suggestion that I beleive would help the flow:

    "feel your music's beat as it moves from head to toe"

    I would change this line to read: "feel your music's beat as it moves, head to toe".

    To me it would help the flow immensely.

    How's it going my Canadian wordsmith?
    | Posted on 2007-08-30 00:00:00 | by ErgoIgo | [ Reply to This ]
      You know I love this one!!!

    Second stanza, last line...the move needs to be pluralized.
    Other then that...this write makes me feel free and uplifted. Gives me the underlined passionate feeling that music does.
    I wouldn't change a thing...I know you want to add more but seriously only do it if it flows freely from beginning to end...right from the start. You need to feel the change before it can be clear and precise.

    I'm sorry this is short...but I really think it's perfect and why mess with a good thing.
    | Posted on 2007-08-27 00:00:00 | by clay | [ Reply to This ]
      Ahh, this is a nice write.

    Dance could set a soul free. Music moves the body into the great beat, and carries a soul into the heat.

    Well, I'm blasting some songs now, haha, feel like moving my feet, then my whole body, just to release tension.

    This may be short and simple, but it's good enough to delight a person's soul.

    EC.
    | Posted on 2007-08-26 00:00:00 | by VivaLaVina | [ Reply to This ]



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