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Tracing Memories


Author: MysterydarkPoet
ASL Info:    20/f/Aust
Elite Ratio:    3.13 - 157 /295 /173
Words: 121
Class/Type: Poetry /Depressed
Total Views: 1086
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 853



Description:




Tracing Memories



I closed my eyes
You were here
I opened them
You'd dissappeared
You left me
a long time before
i'd even realised
you'd gone
And you promised me
You wouldn't let go
but take a good look around
You're nowhere to be found
Was it that you hurt me intentionally?
or did you just forget about me
Cause my heart shattered
the moment u left me
But here i am
I'm blindfolded now
tracing memories
as i run around this empty room
chasing shadows
of where you used to be
I'd stop this nonsense
if you'd come back again
but right now
it's the only thing
that keeps me sane
the only thing
that stops the pain





Submitted on 2007-08-26 07:25:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  Your spelling has a few errors, and the structuring feels off. For example:

"I closed my eyes,
you were here"

I feel like it isn't necessary for those two lines to be separate, they would look better as one line. But that's entirely up to you.

Such a tragic poem, but well-written and not forced and re-hashed. Well done.

Keep Writing,
Elle
| Posted on 2007-08-26 00:00:00 | by GetFighted | [ Reply to This ]


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