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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: *The dad you were.........dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Hazel eyes Jess
    ASL Info:    23/female/new york
    Elite Ratio:    3.14 - 70/74/29
    Words: 189
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1103
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1118



    Description:
       my dad changed...period the end


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots*The dad you were.........dots
    -------------------------------------------


    I'm better then you think I am
    You always put me down
    I come to you in smiles
    but turn away in just a frown
    I try to make you proud of me
    I try to do things right
    I go to show you what I've done,but
    you just want to fight
    I always looked up to you
    You made everything seem fun
    Now that I have grown up
    I guess those days are done
    I have so many dreams
    I want to share with you
    Now I get scared to tell you
    Exactly what I wanna do
    Whenever I felt down you
    you always made me smile
    That feeling is gone now
    I haven't felt it in a while
    What happened to our friendship
    of father daughter fun
    I guess you'll never change
    and our relationship is done
    I tried to tell you how I feel
    but you never understand
    I always got to reach out
    But never see your hand
    I guess time changes
    and with it people too
    I just never would of guessed it
    to change with me and you.






    Submitted on 2007-08-27 03:58:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I really like what you have done with this... I have the same problem with my father... I can't even call him my father anymore... we don't ever talk or anything anymore and it does hurt... Anyway keep your head high and keep yourself strong! there are people out there that really do love you and would love you to be their daughter!
    | Posted on 2007-08-29 00:00:00 | by __B3cca__ | [ Reply to This ]
      This makes me see a lot of the relationship between my father and I. This seems to be describing us since my mom died and i think that it's somrthing a lot of people can understand. I do think, that with a little punctuation, this poem could be so much better though and a lot of "you" at the end of sentences in the one area changed the flow all weird, but other than that excellent.

    *Samy*
    | Posted on 2007-08-28 00:00:00 | by samyalone | [ Reply to This ]
      this is an excellent write the way u show how you growing up has changed the relationship between you and your father i wish u the best
    | Posted on 2007-08-27 00:00:00 | by poet09 | [ Reply to This ]


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