Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Moon Girldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: EbonyBlood
    ASL Info:    14/F/Can.
    Elite Ratio:    3.7 - 79/79/73
    Words: 656
    Class/Type: Story/Misc
    Total Views: 783
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 3598



    Description:
       Short story. You'd have to be clever to understand maybe..I don't know. But, you're not stupid if you don't get it. I might explain to you..Maybe.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMoon Girldots
    -------------------------------------------


    My name is Fred. Common name? I know.
    Though I'm not a common person. You couldn't really see me if I were standing beside you. But, I only stand by those who need me most..only I have found the child of my career. She is gentle, and very loving. Has no friends, only her teddy bear. Is bullied within school, loves to write and draw. Her stories are fantasy full and are amazing..yet shared with no one. For no one wants to listen.
    I can relate with her. I have no friends, in fact I'm not even home, and far from home. And sadly, I'm only a story She's created. This young girl reaches out so far for someone else, only to be pushed over when she helps them up. I can't say, I want you all to be sorry for her. She still smiles, and laughs. In fact..making others laugh is her favorite thing to do. And creating things is a big hobby of hers. Whether it's stories or new toys from her old toys.
    I could say, what I have for this girl is love. But, a sort of mutated love, for I really could be forced to love her, maybe. I'm only within her mind. No other could see me if they tried.
    The sad thing is.. no one believes I exist except for her. They all think when she speaks of me, it's a joke. Though to her, I've been her best friend since she was little. Well in fact, I remember the day she told me her favorite part in Kindergarten was nap time, when I questioned why she replied with this, "No one can say hurtful things when it's nap time, and I can pretend I'm somewhere else." She said it all with a bright smile. What could I reply to that? Her big blue eyes, and short blond hair.

    She loves nature and is constantly searching for bugs and creatures to save. She loves to be outside, Rain or Shine. When I ask her what the most beautiful thing is, she replies carefully. "A moth. Though they bug most people, they are beautiful even with plain colors. Once upon a time, Moths had color and were so beautiful to see, but the earth was gray..with no color at all. The moon mother of all moths suggested they share they're colors. The moths agreed, but by the time The last leaf was green, and the last drop of water blue the moths had no color left. But, Moon mother said if they could fly to her, she would allow them to have their color back.
    That's why Moths always try to reach the light, they think it's the moon. So at night, you have to turn your lights out. So you don't confuse them. Ok Fred?" She smiled at me, and I smiled back.
    I love that story, and always ask for her to tell me it. If I ask about butterflies she says "Butterflies are ancestors moved down a few. They still have color and look different. But, all and all, I think moths are the most beautiful. Don't you? Not once have they cried over looking plain. People shouldn't hate them."

    I always wonder how she grew so obsessed with Moths, but ever since I can remember, she's told me that story and has been interested in turning out her lights and watching Moths dance in the moonlight.
    I wouldn't be surprised if you thought this to be boring..Why would it matter that something made in another person's head would even care. I'm not sure. I thought maybe her story should be told. She isn't dead, and she hasn't done anything great. But, I believe she will one day become a beautiful woman, and she'll be a writer too! Someday..She'll reach the moon once again.




    Submitted on 2007-08-27 10:57:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I think it is beautiful...particularly the story about the moths. And the images of moths dancing in the moonlight, and trying to reach the moon...

    Pretty, pretty, pretty!!!

    | Posted on 2007-08-27 00:00:00 | by Raivn | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    148603

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Records I written by Raphael
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Love written by saartha
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Cover written by saartha
    prison written by ShyOne
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry