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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Coffee Confusiondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: marray proetus
    ASL Info:    100/F/no where
    Elite Ratio:    3.9 - 24/32/30
    Words: 502
    Class/Type: Story/Love
    Total Views: 1563
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 2280



    Description:
       I posted this up once but removed. Brought it back again.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCoffee Confusiondots
    -------------------------------------------


    There is nothing in this world that I would most like to do, than talk to her. Her dark brown curls tumbling down her slim neck, with the sunshine from the window giving it extra luster. She sits elegantly with her legs crossed in her sleeveless white summer dress. Her slim arms rest clasped in her lap, with a gentle kindness twinkling in her eyes. She is like an angel who can have no flaws in my eyes. She moves her lips to an unknown tune making me wonder what she’s thinking. What’s going on behind those eyes? What secrets do they behold?
    I know I will never find out, because I have a feeling that there is someone in her heart. How I came to this conclusion you ask? Well it goes like this.
    She became a regular customer at our café two months ago. A month after I started working here. She would come at least twice a week and order two cups of regular coffee. She would drink one cup, while staring out the window waiting for someone. But no one would appear. Then with an unhappy look on her face she would depart.
    Every time the same thing would happen, and added to that she would never say a word to me. Always with her eyes down she would place her order in a quiet tone. Sometimes I wonder “Do I really love this person? This person who I know nothing about or maybe I am just attracted to a mystery.”

    *********

    He never says a word to me or even smiles for that matter. He’s sociable and lively with everyone else. But with me it’s always ‘May I take your order.’ Nothing more nothing less
    I especially hate it when he has conversations with other woman. I have always been looking at him from the reflection of the window; watching him push back his hair in deep thought, then a second later smile like he has no worry in the world. I really can’t believe he doesn’t notice that the other cup is for him.
    Curse my shy personality, if only I could be like one of those vivacious girls. Then I would be able to tell him I love him. But for now I will wait to build up the courage, while the second cup gets cold. Someday I will make him have a cup of coffee with me
    *********






    Submitted on 2007-08-27 14:18:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Neat. They both love each other, but neither of them knows it. I love these kind of twists!

    I like this. Keep on writing stuff like this.

    Sorry if I don't have much to say. But believe me, this is a wonderful little love piece.
    | Posted on 2007-10-10 00:00:00 | by manwithnoname | [ Reply to This ]
      I thought the end of your part was the end of the piece, but the second half and the switch in perspective surprised me. It would have been a good piece with the first half, but the last part really makes it feel like a complete, two dimensional story. It's so sweet that he watches her and wonders who she is waiting for, and he doesn't realize that she's waiting for him. They both love each other, but they are both to shy to say anything. How ironic that the only thing coming between them is their own insecurities.

    I really like the affect that this has on the reader; in most romance pieces like this, we only get the view of one person. There is always the mystery of what the other person thinks. There is an odd kind of satisfaction to see on both sides of the wall and know there is a good possibility that both dreams will come true.

    This is going on my favorites.

    Jen
    | Posted on 2007-08-27 00:00:00 | by Jeniffer | [ Reply to This ]


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