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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Distant Early Warningdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: rws
    ASL Info:    57/m/ohio
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 2777/1297/258
    Words: 165
    Class/Type: Prose/Misc
    Total Views: 583
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1121



    Description:
       ~very experimental and not tethered in reality~


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDistant Early Warningdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Distant Early Warning

    You know…the last assassin I saw peeking out your window had the damnedest daggers for eyes and… he almost snapped under the weight of recriminations…or he might have, but he didn’t care what he said because he said nothing. But man…you should have heard what he was thinking. THAT was rage.

    And what lamp did you rub to appease this genie? Or is this a haunting?

    Not at all, good sir. Admiring.

    Admiring what?

    Your skill at sublimating the inevitable.

    You assume reality and judgment will collide likes planets in a cheap sci-fi flick?

    No sir…or yes sir. I’m not sure. If the two are incompatible there’ll be nothing left but a hole leaning inward.

    Take care then, young gentleman. Rub the lamp and you lose the shine.

    And who knows how slick the sides are…or how deep into the pit they go.





    Submitted on 2007-08-27 18:52:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Yey!!! Machine-gun poetry is the new Haiku. Awesomeness.

    Truth be told, this is like a conversation some poet and I had about some God who I had to Wiki just so I could say something about her piece. It was purely heart driven and fluent but it almost didn't make any sense. And at some sickly dizzing level I think we understood each other.

    As for this piece, it kind of reminded me how cryptic threats tend to leave more of a hole than the ones that are as blunt as the usual "I'll [censored] kill you [censored]." The processing, I think, allows you to really get involved with the heart of the word, the feeling it brings if you will. It's like when you read this poem that really caught your attention but you really don't understand it. Once you finally connect with it in an intellectual level... it sort of stirs you inside. Makes you feel good or bad and gives you goosebumps. And it stays with you because the mental devices you processed inside you will remain long after the feeling has been spent.

    Good job. It's good to be back.
    | Posted on 2007-09-28 00:00:00 | by ANGELO | [ Reply to This ]
      by far, this is the most far out piece yet... and thats saying quite a lot... genies and cheap sci-fi flicks... yeah, i get the same feeling when a bad mix of hallucinogens and alcohol invade my system...

    the first speaker is full of uncertainty, and the second, sage-like.. as to what the hell they are talking about is beyond my powers. not surprising as with any new experiment, the results may even baffle the experimentier.

    Take care then, young gentleman. Rub the lamp and you lose the shine.

    And who knows how slick the sides are…or how deep into they pit they go.


    now those are some golden lines (pardon the nitpick; "into the(y) pit") fit for an all powerful being. i guess it'd be too cliché to get the "be careful what you wish for" addage outta this one.... so im gonna go out on a limb and just think that whoever said those lines, those warnings if you will, left everything in the hands of the first unsure speaker... which could be potentially disastrous for the cosmos...

    hmmm... i think i should break out a chemistry set for my own experiments.
    | Posted on 2007-08-29 00:00:00 | by Pietro | [ Reply to This ]
      The style of this reminds vaguely of the way deadndreaming used to write. Anyway I love the conciseness, thought race at the beganing tangent after tangent of the intial thought. The dialogue I was a little confused by but it gave me the impreesion on coveting something be it a dream, lover, treasure or destination and the realizing that we'd rather dream than have acheived the rose colored glasses shattered( forgive the cliché). Anyway great work most intresting work I've read here in a long time though more for the way it is written than anything.
    peace
    | Posted on 2007-08-28 00:00:00 | by shaman | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm alway a fan when it comes to reading your work. I admire the words and the thoughts that you choose. It makes you original and non-duplicable. I don't think anyone on this site can do what you do. And although at times, we can't always picture the total idea of what you mean such as you previous commentor, the way you write it is always amazing.

    I enjoyed the conversational tone that you've created. It makes me think really hard about the idea of reality and the idea of what a genie can do. I once saw a cartoon (it sounds stupid but it has an interesting point) about a boy who found a lamp and accidentally rubbed it. A genie came out to grant the boy three wishes but whatever the boy wished, was totally different from what he really desired and so his last wish was that he never found the lamp. I'm not sure if that was what you intended to say but that's what i got out of it.

    Nice experimental work.
    Cheers,

    Irina
    | Posted on 2007-08-28 00:00:00 | by charmedidentity | [ Reply to This ]
      Okay...this was interesting. I enjoyed reading it and aside from the fact that I don't have a damn clue what you're talking about, it's pretty good!

    Your vocabulary and style are fluid, originality is right on the spot...but does it matter when I'm confused/does it matter that I am confused?

    Over to you....

    | Posted on 2007-08-28 00:00:00 | by Learah | [ Reply to This ]


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