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    dots Submission Name: Exitsdots

    Author: AeThe Lost Poet
    ASL Info:    19/M/DE
    Elite Ratio:    3.6 - 147/184/122
    Words: 95
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 654
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 722


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    In me exists.
    Wounds, Which I utilize,
    Mortality Expressed,
    And then brutalized,
    It's fatal, a fury,
    Little known to man,
    But still I tell the story,
    As much I can,
    I'll tell you what I know,
    About these exit wounds,
    I'm pressed, because,
    I know that death is soon,
    50-60 years,
    Is the epectant rate,
    Money for the tears,
    Just to compensate,
    So you're told,
    It's okay, aide'll pay for it,
    You see that it's fake,
    But they still ignore it,
    50-60 times,
    YOu don't recognize?
    What keeps you coming back,
    Is those exit signs.

    Submitted on 2007-08-28 13:20:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I like it alot. It has good flow and I love the way it rhymes. It has a very interesting concept and in general is a lovely little peom. Good wright and welcome back.
    | Posted on 2007-08-29 00:00:00 | by Katlord | [ Reply to This ]
      hmmm....interesting concept. A visual meaning and a deeper one (i think anyway). it ryms good and the short none complicated lines make it attractive to the person skimming threw poems. I really like the style and the words can mean so much more the second time you read it.
    | Posted on 2007-08-28 00:00:00 | by Gop | [ Reply to This ]
      This has great flow...only thing that distracted me was the first line, when I first read it. It seems sort of separated from the rest of the piece...Other than that, again awesome job! The end was clean and precise, woked really well with the rest of the piece!! I also liked the repetition of 50-60 times...repetitions work well for me in tying a poem together.
    | Posted on 2007-08-28 00:00:00 | by TheStillSilence | [ Reply to This ]

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