Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Rain on Plastic Skindots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: TheStillSilence
    ASL Info:    20/F/Out in Outer Space
    Elite Ratio:    5.1 - 180/107/54
    Words: 118
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 907
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 793



    Description:
       Look! I used spell check this time!! :] Anyway, I've always wanted to write a piece on rain, but I've enevr been able to write somehting that I didn't rip apart and throw away two seconds after I wrote it, until this. So here it is, my first half-decent piece on rain!!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRain on Plastic Skindots
    -------------------------------------------


    Raindrops splat on cold concrete
    Contorting their existence; washing away
    Into a world as beknown to humanity
    As the place of their birth

    Plastic skin goes unaffected
    By the raindrops; who are recreated into
    Closet monsters to scare the kids;
    Rarely do they greet the tenderness
    Of soft welcoming skin

    A pair of scarred gummy-bear eyes
    Peak from under a heaving umbrella
    That feels like home; into a house
    With no roof, on a rainy day

    “Keep your umbrella straight,
    or else you could get wet!”
    barks a stern Wah-Wah voice,
    and a retreating hand enters the
    warm comfort of a pocket, never
    to know the feel of raindrops on plastic skin.




    Submitted on 2007-08-28 14:36:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Hi there... this is the kind of poetry I love... poignant, and so everyday that it seems no one would to stop to think of it... some people may read this and not appreciate the depth of the message here.... "being out of touch with something so beautifully natural, even to the point of missing the joy of getting wet"... It was the title that caught me in the first instance.. and made me wonder.... there is the touch of genius here..... I am off now to read a few more.....
    | Posted on 2008-11-10 00:00:00 | by col13x | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh what passions we could find if only we would lift a finger to feel it, lift a brow to catch it in motion, or lift a piece of mind to think upon it. The world is so screwed up,...but hasn't it always been? I just wish people would lift a finger to the simpler things in life.

    I fervently enjoyed this poem.

    Colten
    | Posted on 2007-11-25 00:00:00 | by Colten | [ Reply to This ]
      I think that we harden ourselves to the reality of the outside world. Rain ruins our day, as it might hinder our speeding to work, school, wherever our buzy lives carry us.

    Children have yet to be ininitated into the unloving, uncaring, buzy, selfish culture we live in today.

    How long does it take to stop and enjoy the pitter patter on the roof, to dance in the joy of the moment...bittersweet.

    Kudos!
    | Posted on 2007-10-03 00:00:00 | by orange | [ Reply to This ]
      this is pretty good. you really capture what its like to be a child. next to an adult your told everything you see isnt as it seems. and before you are aware and critical everything is false, plastic.
    | Posted on 2007-08-29 00:00:00 | by DBC | [ Reply to This ]
      I love it is AWEsome. I can't think of much else to say other then... Woooow.. Keep up the good work.
    | Posted on 2007-08-29 00:00:00 | by Katlord | [ Reply to This ]
      You use great imagery these lines

    Contorting their existence; washing away
    Into a world as beknown to humanity

    almost captures the entire poem. I love the way you write. I'm totally envious. Keep up the GREAT work
    | Posted on 2007-08-28 00:00:00 | by I_m not Broken | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    148654

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    The World written by jjd
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry