It's unbearable what I feel for you. It hurts me so much. It hurts to see you, to hear you, to speak to you, to think about you. My heart aches. I will not lie. Sometimes I wish I could hate you. And sometimes I get so unbearably angry when I think of you that I think I could hate you if I didn't love you so much. Sometimes I long for your touch and your touch only and I won't let anyone else touch me. Sometimes I long for your kiss and your voice. It's torture and pain and I deserve it. Sometimes I cry because of how much I miss you and sometimes I cry just because of the pain that I feel. When you’re in the room I feel as though you have a gravitational pull and I'm caught in it. I can barely look at you. It hurts too much. Sometimes I want to talk to you so bad it drives me crazy and I will find any excuse just to call you. You tore my world asunder when you broke me. So I broke you and I will pay for that the rest of my life because I will forever be broken. I will forever look at our beautiful baby girl and see you. I will forever kiss someone else and feel you. I will forever speak with someone else and hear you. It's too much for one slightly crazy, always tired, overworked mother to take. It tears at my soul. I will forever profess my love to another but you will always own my heart.
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Submission Name: Letters to First Love Part 1
