I could not help but think of the saying about two ships passing in the night. We meet many who become but little blinks in the total of our lives. As long as we can stay
"happily standing with both feet on the ground
at peace with everything and everyone around,"
life is good! (Those two lines were my favorites, my the way.) This meeting and parting seems much more memorable than a casual hello/goodbye. Your rhymes worked with the single exception of expect-regret. Do you have a rhyming dictionary? They're very handy if you enjoy writing with rhyme. I have one in the back of my Websters. :-) Sharon
im wondering why you used double spacing for this piece? it doesnt seem to contribute anything to the presentation of the piece.
i think this piece would be a whole lot stronger if you were to use stanza breaks and maybe experiment with your line breaks a little [though i realise that you are going for the rhyming approach so that may not work so well]
i think, while you know what you are writing about, the reader has very little to base their understanding on. you give the reader a couple of vague ideas but there is very little concrete in this piece... perhaps think about putting a little more detail into your imagery..?
my guess is that two ppl were flirting and things went a little further than just flirting and now one of them [the narrative voice of this piece] wishes something more could come of the relationship but it would seem, for reasons unapparent, that both know nothing can happen...