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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The little girl in the white dressdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: atonement
    Elite Ratio:    2.71 - 106/186/98
    Words: 186
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1225
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1085



    Description:
       This is about my little cousin Brooke, my family isn't allowed to see her or her siblings anymore because of family issues.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe little girl in the white dressdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Little butterflies collect on your tiny white dress,
    the sun is soaked into your golden hair,
    and you are twirling and dancing in the wind.
    Smiling at life, even though it's hurt you.
    Laughing at all that surrounds you.

    But now winter has come,
    and butterflies no longer collect on your tiny white dress.
    Your innocence is caught in the middle of the storm,
    and dulls your sun soaked hair.

    I fear you won't smile at life, or laugh at all that surrounds you and become faded as one of us.
    I don't want you or your siblings to hurt, and for awhile it might have to be this way.

    But please promise me, when summer comes again that butterflies will collect on your growing white dress,
    the sun always will soak your Golden hair,
    that you will always twirl and dance in the wind
    and that no matter what you will always smile and laugh.
    Remember I'll always be there for that smile and laugh because I love you and the wars will pass.




    Submitted on 2007-08-30 22:44:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I love the innocence of children that is displayed in this piece. Eventually that innocence will be shattered, but fro now it can hold true.
    | Posted on 2008-04-24 00:00:00 | by orange | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a beautiful, and really sad I have the same problem with seeing my cousins so the words touched me. I think your format was good and you protrayed your thoughts great. I hope everything works out, great write.
    | Posted on 2007-10-07 00:00:00 | by ira | [ Reply to This ]
      Hum....it kind of makes me sad. It makes me feel sorry for your little cousin, caught in the middle of everything that is going on. I hope everything works out and I hope she never loses her smile. Once you do, it's so hard to get it back.
    Have you let her read this? It seems that she is quite young, maybe you will when she gets a little older? Well, if you do, let me know her reaction. I for one know that it would make me feel so special for someone to write a poem for/about me.

    Good luck and God bless,
    ~mysterious~
    | Posted on 2007-09-01 00:00:00 | by mysterious one | [ Reply to This ]
      This is lovely and touching, Jordynn! I'm impressed that you took the care to properly punctuate your work. You have a wonderful skill at writing, and I encourage you to continue to write! I enjoyed this very much!
    | Posted on 2007-08-31 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this. i really am at a loss for words right now. but i really like it and think you did a great job. and i hope all those family issues work out. :)
    -Amber-
    | Posted on 2007-08-30 00:00:00 | by never_far_away | [ Reply to This ]


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