"Fadnig", should be "fading".
"began" should be "begun". I also suggest you capitalise your 'I's.
Meanwhile, you've attempted a far overused metaphor, the idea of being torn apart by a black hole. It's miserable how much pain and torture can be lumped into words directly. I notice many of your writes are venting, but I would suggest you look deeper in your heart for what keeps you alive, and well, and healthy. Perhaps the beauty of existence and living can be exemplified as easily as pain can be expressed.