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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: a night at the metal showdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Semper Fidelis
    ASL Info:    22/Male/ouahu, Hawaii
    Elite Ratio:    3.37 - 135/185/60
    Words: 110
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 708
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 805



    Description:
       I was just writting.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsa night at the metal showdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The Music-
    heavy with anger-
    beats the rythm into me-
    I feel the hate rise-

    The lights flash-
    with every riff and roll-
    I become one with the syncopation-
    My body becomes the metronome-

    First impact-
    body to body-
    Slam together, and bouce off to another--
    we are the chosen few-

    No pain-
    but this is true feeling-
    Bone to bone-
    the pit is my place-

    Fist swing-
    new form of dance-
    blood and knuckles-
    show the appreciation-

    Broken nose-
    bloody mouth-
    I am strong-
    for I have done worse-

    This is my life-
    one pit to another-
    making myself stronger-
    with every collision.




    Submitted on 2004-06-21 04:23:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      LoL Rock on! This was so original, it didn't sound trashy, excited or depressing...you just throw it in our faces like "whatever, this is what I like"
    I love your attitude.
    | Posted on 2004-06-22 00:00:00 | by Indi Elf | [ Reply to This ]
      Fu*king Awesome, sounds to me like the mosh pit got ahold of you, and what a way to show appreciation to the one's that bleed, that cry, that pour there souls out to us, in words and music. This is awesome, I love it, and i especially love the last line of the first stanza, it left a taste of slipknot in my mouth, and here I am typing you a comment, singing, my fav. slipknot song ever, "I felt the hate rise up in me, kneel down and clear the stone of leaves, I want to run where you can't see, inside my shell I wait and bleed" EXCELLENT job!
    | Posted on 2004-06-21 00:00:00 | by ViCiOuSWrItEr | [ Reply to This ]
      Love it, I can feel the energy and total lack of feeling of pain, probably because it brings back memories. I think you really captured the release and single meaning behind the pit. Keep it up, man!
    | Posted on 2004-06-21 00:00:00 | by Phall | [ Reply to This ]
      This peom made me feel those emotions that you wrote about... you put me stright into the peom... the fomat was differnt but i think really effective... keep up the good work
    | Posted on 2004-06-21 00:00:00 | by Kueen_Emerald | [ Reply to This ]


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