Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: a night at the metal showdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Semper Fidelis
    ASL Info:    22/Male/ouahu, Hawaii
    Elite Ratio:    3.37 - 135/185/60
    Words: 110
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 741
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 805



    Description:
       I was just writting.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsa night at the metal showdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The Music-
    heavy with anger-
    beats the rythm into me-
    I feel the hate rise-

    The lights flash-
    with every riff and roll-
    I become one with the syncopation-
    My body becomes the metronome-

    First impact-
    body to body-
    Slam together, and bouce off to another--
    we are the chosen few-

    No pain-
    but this is true feeling-
    Bone to bone-
    the pit is my place-

    Fist swing-
    new form of dance-
    blood and knuckles-
    show the appreciation-

    Broken nose-
    bloody mouth-
    I am strong-
    for I have done worse-

    This is my life-
    one pit to another-
    making myself stronger-
    with every collision.




    Submitted on 2004-06-21 04:23:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      LoL Rock on! This was so original, it didn't sound trashy, excited or depressing...you just throw it in our faces like "whatever, this is what I like"
    I love your attitude.
    | Posted on 2004-06-22 00:00:00 | by Indi Elf | [ Reply to This ]
      Fu*king Awesome, sounds to me like the mosh pit got ahold of you, and what a way to show appreciation to the one's that bleed, that cry, that pour there souls out to us, in words and music. This is awesome, I love it, and i especially love the last line of the first stanza, it left a taste of slipknot in my mouth, and here I am typing you a comment, singing, my fav. slipknot song ever, "I felt the hate rise up in me, kneel down and clear the stone of leaves, I want to run where you can't see, inside my shell I wait and bleed" EXCELLENT job!
    | Posted on 2004-06-21 00:00:00 | by ViCiOuSWrItEr | [ Reply to This ]
      Love it, I can feel the energy and total lack of feeling of pain, probably because it brings back memories. I think you really captured the release and single meaning behind the pit. Keep it up, man!
    | Posted on 2004-06-21 00:00:00 | by Phall | [ Reply to This ]
      This peom made me feel those emotions that you wrote about... you put me stright into the peom... the fomat was differnt but i think really effective... keep up the good work
    | Posted on 2004-06-21 00:00:00 | by Kueen_Emerald | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    14898

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Wavelength written by saartha
    The Promise written by annie0888
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Bond written by saartha
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Linger written by saartha
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Giving written by jjd

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry