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    dots Submission Name: If My World Were Paperdots

    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 57
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 926
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 327

       I'm not down or having relationship problems. It just came to me last night, so I wrote it.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIf My World Were Paperdots

    If my world were paper,
    you'd tear it apart and throw it into a pile around my shoes,
    but rip it to shreds: I'm tired of living afraid,
    so let me feel your cruelty one last time,
    and I can be free; then I'll put my life back together
    if only with tape and glue.

    Submitted on 2004-06-21 04:23:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      I like this...it's a nice idea, the paper and all. I've sort of gone through a time like this, you know, relationship problem and stuff...and i was talking to my friend. He asked me what i felt like, and i was describing it in this way. I said that my world as torn into tiny papers and thrown away. My friend told me to stick the papers back together hehehe. By the way, the tape and glue thing is really a nice ending.
    | Posted on 2004-06-24 00:00:00 | by Little Gal | [ Reply to This ]
      It does have that impromptu feel...kinda like an "I'm sorry I called you fat" sympathy card in reverse...I dunno, I'm stupid.

    | Posted on 2004-06-22 00:00:00 | by MyX | [ Reply to This ]
      user super glue! lol! this is a good "go-ahead-and-rip-my-heart-out-'cause-i'll-survive" piece. shows your strength!
    | Posted on 2004-06-21 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      I take this as a message to never give up, stick to it (no pun intended) and um... keep going til the very end.
    Yes, quite...
    It's interesting... Although, the title... well... it's one of those strange titles, that although have relevance to the... writing, it isn't really... a title... Em... I think I'm just cofusing everyone...
    Yes, quite...
    Good work...
    Yes, that's right...
    | Posted on 2004-06-21 00:00:00 | by runedot | [ Reply to This ]
      the paper image is great. it shows a lot of vulnerability, but you never give up. that's good. you can also cut yourself with paper. it's not so harmless. paper is an interesting image if you think about it. anyway I liked your poem very much and enjoyed reading. glad you're not really feeling down.
    | Posted on 2004-06-21 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      This reminds me of something else you wrote about someone tearing up a letter. I think. But it was just a line or two in that piece. Anyway, this is not bad. I'd say to scrap "But" and "So". I think it sounds better that that way. Also, the length is fine like it is, but you could stretch this metaphor on for pages if you wanted to dabble in longer writes. I'd like to see it explored more. Now I feel like NicelyJ, 'cause that's what he always tells me.
    | Posted on 2004-06-21 00:00:00 | by Black Rock Tractor | [ Reply to This ]

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