Boy! This is harsh. Your anger and dissalusion seem to have poured from your very soul. I hope things went well after that. Im not much into the cuss words but Hey sometimes they just fit the situation. Jerilynn
I feel your passion in this piece of poetry, but I feel you could describe it in a much, much more interesting and exciting way. It may be a piece that touches you right off, but that doesn't mean someone else will get the point, and feel the way that you do. Some who are not open minded may pass over this poem and not give it a chance. It's wonderful and therapeutic that you can get these feeling out, and applaud your ability to open your heart up without shame or fear of what others may think. It is established that you have the emotional part of this piece down, but now it's time to pull out all the stops in the creative sense, and write this poem in a more poetic way as opposed to a collection of thoughts that one might find in a journal entry. I encourage you to continue to write from your heart, you'll get better and better as time goes on. Learn to challenge yourself as a writer and push the envelope.