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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: 203 Months.dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: try_again
    ASL Info:    17/female/Canada
    Elite Ratio:    3.86 - 4/9/4
    Words: 87
    Class/Type: Poetry/Being a Teen
    Total Views: 137
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 685



    Description:
       a completely spontaneous piece, completely whiny and pathetic, once again demonstrating my lack of talent as a writer. I suppose that makes it self-reflexive, doesn't it?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots203 Months.dots
    -------------------------------------------


    I know that I can create
    Exuberant, silky verse
    Spangled and sugary
    If I want to
    For entertainment value.
    But to dissect your manipulation
    Of orgasmic diction,
    Its flawlessness so blatant,
    Reminds me I'm a cliché too
    And leopard-print eyelashes
    Are best left to the photographer.
    But, being Lazarus,
    I meant to be emblazoned on
    The navy sky
    A constellation
    Revered for its masterful pulchritude,
    Not painted over with disappointing failure.

    I spit the word "seventeen"
    Like venom,
    And scrub away my inexperience
    With ink.




    Submitted on 2007-09-06 20:54:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i think this piece is completely spiffy!
    an original and entertaining little piece and that you have a lovely and entrancing talent that i envy....seventeen years can be quite a few (i should know) at least enough for inspiration, and talent and an eagerness to learn to be planted in your mind...

    xoxo
    | Posted on 2007-09-07 00:00:00 | by blu_kittin | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow! And you think this is "completely whiny and pathetic" and lacking talent. Bull! This is a great piece. I didn't see it as whiney at all. It showed your complete frustration for your age and inexperience. I know how that feels. I've been 17 before too but you don't quite fit the teen whiney that you imply this is. It's brilliant. The way you used words and phrases. The way you snapped them out. You showed feeling and not only feeling but you gave interesting pictures and so such. I find this a brilliant work and I applaud.
    | Posted on 2007-09-07 00:00:00 | by Raineyes | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
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