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    dots Submission Name: Untitled 1 dots

    Author: ira
    ASL Info:    21.f.ca
    Elite Ratio:    3.22 - 238/273/176
    Words: 137
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 604
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 868


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    dotsUntitled 1 dots

    I found the whisper on naked mounds,
    Lay forth the stolen pound to pound,
    And once we lost ourselves,
    The children sang to you,
    Once we lost ourselves and fled underneath
    The king,
    I found the whisper naked on the hill,
    Soul covered by the lusting fields,
    And once became the moments stolen
    Once we sang the holy queen,
    And never before did we bow to a king.
    Never before did we bow to a king.
    There we washed our sins clean,
    In the streaming rivers bleed.
    I found the whisper locked within the roses,
    And saw paradise,
    And once we lost ourselves enslaved by the king of kings,
    The children sang to us,
    And once we lost ourselves to the machine, the kings
    Of kings.
    And once we lost ourselves bowing bowing to the mortal machine

    Submitted on 2007-09-07 00:27:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Nice work, but as poets we can always do better. It's only a matter of us deciding when a piece of work is taken as far as we can take it. There's always a balance of when an idea may not be complete or when an idea has been taken too far and beaten into the ground. I'm not complaining, but I'd suggest you come up with a title soon, since titles are very important in setting up a piece of work.
    | Posted on 2007-09-10 00:00:00 | by Martin S. Allen | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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