Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Amber Shipdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Algol46
    ASL Info:    200/m/East of Eden
    Elite Ratio:    2.72 - 1111/1235/613
    Words: 118
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 535
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 680



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Amber Shipdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Vast this alien sea whereon I ply
    My amber ship with ectoplasmic sail,
    About me sport the manatee and whale
    Who see no ship, nor my ghost may espy.
    But in the summer with a clear night sky
    Then just before the coming of a gale,
    When all the sea is lit with moonlight pale,
    My ghost ship on these silver waves will fly.

    So like grim death upon these moiling swells
    My hull of foam will now persue the dawn,
    And in the night my ghost ship’s iron bells
    Will sound the time and then be quickly gone.
    Then as the new dawn winks benignantly
    I and my ship sink slowly in the sea.




    Submitted on 2007-09-07 13:32:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      wow, sooooo descriptive. I've read a couple of your pieces and I have got to say, you are a very good writer. I hope to read more from you soon. - canarddoue
    | Posted on 2007-09-10 00:00:00 | by canarddoue | [ Reply to This ]
      well this is quite a piece but i found it short.

    Donno why. But nicely put for a sinking ship. Never expected that end.

    Great job man.
    | Posted on 2007-09-09 00:00:00 | by keestu | [ Reply to This ]
      So like grim death


    i like that line a lot. i might use it in one my journals. good job.
    | Posted on 2007-09-08 00:00:00 | by ladiesplanet1 | [ Reply to This ]
      I love these ghostly tales of ships, sailors, and the sea! You are the master of these stories and poems, as with many other forms! This was delightful, as are all of your writings! I am just in awe of your skill and your craft! Excellent, and bring us more and more!!!!!
    | Posted on 2007-09-07 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      i like this piece, but it is so like dozens of others that you have penned in recent months that each one reminds me of the last....
    i do love them of course and admire your tremendous talents
    the only thing i question in this piece is should "benignantly" be "benignly"?

    this very begining part is reminiscent of a shanty, i think

    "Vast this alien sea whereon I ply
    My amber ship with ectoplasmic sail,
    About me sport the manatee and whale
    Who see no ship, nor my ghost may espy."

    its also my favorite part of this, which i think is a sonnet?

    xoxo
    | Posted on 2007-09-07 00:00:00 | by blu_kittin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    149114

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Love written by saartha
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Shi written by ShyOne
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Dream written by closetpoet
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    prison written by ShyOne

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry