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    dots Submission Name: The Amber Shipdots

    Author: Algol46
    ASL Info:    200/m/East of Eden
    Elite Ratio:    2.72 - 1111/1235/613
    Words: 118
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 546
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 680


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Amber Shipdots

    Vast this alien sea whereon I ply
    My amber ship with ectoplasmic sail,
    About me sport the manatee and whale
    Who see no ship, nor my ghost may espy.
    But in the summer with a clear night sky
    Then just before the coming of a gale,
    When all the sea is lit with moonlight pale,
    My ghost ship on these silver waves will fly.

    So like grim death upon these moiling swells
    My hull of foam will now persue the dawn,
    And in the night my ghost ship’s iron bells
    Will sound the time and then be quickly gone.
    Then as the new dawn winks benignantly
    I and my ship sink slowly in the sea.

    Submitted on 2007-09-07 13:32:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      wow, sooooo descriptive. I've read a couple of your pieces and I have got to say, you are a very good writer. I hope to read more from you soon. - canarddoue
    | Posted on 2007-09-10 00:00:00 | by canarddoue | [ Reply to This ]
      well this is quite a piece but i found it short.

    Donno why. But nicely put for a sinking ship. Never expected that end.

    Great job man.
    | Posted on 2007-09-09 00:00:00 | by keestu | [ Reply to This ]
      So like grim death

    i like that line a lot. i might use it in one my journals. good job.
    | Posted on 2007-09-08 00:00:00 | by ladiesplanet1 | [ Reply to This ]
      I love these ghostly tales of ships, sailors, and the sea! You are the master of these stories and poems, as with many other forms! This was delightful, as are all of your writings! I am just in awe of your skill and your craft! Excellent, and bring us more and more!!!!!
    | Posted on 2007-09-07 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      i like this piece, but it is so like dozens of others that you have penned in recent months that each one reminds me of the last....
    i do love them of course and admire your tremendous talents
    the only thing i question in this piece is should "benignantly" be "benignly"?

    this very begining part is reminiscent of a shanty, i think

    "Vast this alien sea whereon I ply
    My amber ship with ectoplasmic sail,
    About me sport the manatee and whale
    Who see no ship, nor my ghost may espy."

    its also my favorite part of this, which i think is a sonnet?

    | Posted on 2007-09-07 00:00:00 | by blu_kittin | [ Reply to This ]

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