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    dots Submission Name: We Brand Cows With Metal, And...dots

    Author: screamALEX
    ASL Info:    19/M/PA
    Elite Ratio:    3.87 - 40/93/49
    Words: 232
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 970
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 1566

       Wrote something a while back using the same title, and the same concept/inspiration. It's completely re-vamped, and basically a entirely new write.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWe Brand Cows With Metal, And...dots

    We Brand Cows With Metal, And People With Titles

    So I think I’m right,
    but you think I’m wrong.
    Apparently independence is dead,
    since conformity has come along.
    And in a society that’s,
    lost its creativity,
    this is my revolt,
    my song.

    We have picked each other apart,
    picked ourselves to the bone.
    What’s the point in boldness,
    when weakness is what’s shown?
    Cause we’ve all been here before,
    attempting to reinvent what was never born,
    and the lack of success,
    has left us wanting more.

    We can never be,
    what our peers what us to be,
    so instead we change our image,
    to show them what they want to see.
    For the mirror only preaches,
    what we want to believe…
    a false sense of security,
    to compliment the lack of individuality.
    I don’t know how to be clearer with you,
    we’re NOT fucking machines.

    But we keep playing these games,
    pretending we’re all the same,
    yet the irony is,
    that our search to be different,
    is how we got this way.
    And in a world where,
    originality is mocked at every chance,
    and dismissed without regret,
    these words seem to be all that’s left…

    If metal can brand,
    then titles could enslave,
    leaving our hollow bodies here,
    waiting for the day,
    that rebirth will come again…
    and again we shall rise.

    Submitted on 2007-09-08 21:53:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      "If metal can brand,
    then titles could enslave,"
    i like this, and i feel its true, but i also feel that its a little strong, a little, my opinion is right and yours is wrong
    some people feel that the society we have is good and safe, and while i do agree with you about the conformity issue and how society is
    i also like that you are just trying to get the message across
    this is a good place to do it, just try not to offend anyone in your quest to inform, because then you will lose what audience you have

    | Posted on 2007-09-10 00:00:00 | by blu_kittin | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem is to be blunt "preachy". This sort of message is best delivered in a sermon or an essay. A poem is an inappropriate vehicle. If you attempt to use poetry for philosophy, it tends to produce something heavy, wordy and unappealing.

    You can use a poem to convey a message about the branding of cattle and the branding of personalities, but then you need to use imagery and not argument.

    They have branded my soul as theirs,
    Made rawhide of my emotions.
    I am tattooed in Auschwitz
    With a serial number - my name is lost.

    Need I go on?
    | Posted on 2007-09-10 00:00:00 | by hanuman | [ Reply to This ]

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